Time To Pop The Cork

We wouldn’t be having this celebration without Talis Abolins, my attorney, along with the help and support of Darrell Cockran, who came along side Talis to fight against this lawsuit. From the onset Talis has taken our case very seriously and has balanced the legal practicalities of the case with the emotional sensitivity of this issue. It is because of the hard work of Talis along with Darrell that we have this legal victory to celebrate tonight. I am extremely humbled and grateful that they believed enough in what I was trying to do with the blog to sacrifice their own time and help me. It was through a high school friendship with Debbie L. that made my connection with Talis possible.

My blog will stay AS-IS and I don’t have to pay one dime to the sexual predator of my child for his bogus claims.

Many prayed, many have supported me and my family practically and emotionally but I would like to take a few minutes to highlight a few individuals:

First, would be my husband, Eric, who supported my idea for the blog right away. He gets my heart in all of this and has backed me every step of the way. Thank you for seeing the importance in what I wanted to do even though it has cost our family in many ways. Thank you for allowing me to walk out my healing process in my own way and not try to fix me. Thank you for picking up the slack when I needed to “escape and refill myself” from everything. Thank you for being willing to see this to the end!

It is because of my Mom and Tom that I was able to hire an attorney to evaluate our case in the first place. They have been steadfast in their support of me personally and of every member of my family. Their generosity and thoughtfulness has been overwhelming at times. In a lot of ways we wouldn’t be here today without all the support they poured out on us.

Tom L.spent countless hours editing numerous posts for the blog in the beginning. Tom is an amazing writer and friend! Through his help I gradually became more confident in my writing abilities and he stopped editing (you probably can tell when.) His wife, Deb, my sister wife (haha) has walked much of this with me… I couldn’t have made it without her! Thank you for being such an amazingly gracious and supportive friend! I am not certifiably crazy because of you! Your family has loved on us in so many ways…thank you!

Gary and Erin D.were in this nightmare with us. They knew these people, which alone make their support and friendship unique. I talk about the Dew family on my blog. Next to our family, they lost the most for their support of our family and wanting to shine a light on the darkness. They were unwavering in their appeals to the elders of the church in asking them to seek and expose the truth about Patrick. They drew lines in the sand which cost them many dear friendships. Thank you for fighting the good fight with us.

Shana C.is my sista from another mista… my friendship grew deep and fast with Shana. In a time when I trusted no one, not even myself, I allowed her in. Not sure why… just did. She has been a precious friend. Shana was a friend in a time when I couldn’t be a friend in return. In a lot of ways Shana has played a big part in helping me learn to extend trust again. Thank you for that!

Cheryll C.has known me the longest out of my group of close friends. Cheryll has been very supportive and always knew when to send an encouragment my way.Her family has supported us both emotionally and practically in many ways. I couldn’t have held it together without her in my life. Thank you!

Kathy L. reached out to a stranger and impacted me forever. My times at her house were precious and very healing. Thank you for your spiritual sensitivity.

Aunt Valari has always been a safe place for me to fall apart. Thank you for being there everytime I have needed you.

I want to thank Anthony and Beth W. for hosting this celebration. Anthony, thank you for the amazing spirits you have made to raise my spirits. I want to thank Beth for taking an interest in Our Story and encouraging me to fight the good fight.

Kari W. was a key player in getting me to contact the media, which, ultimately lead to bringing more awareness to this subject matter and to securing co-counsel.

Sherie M.has been a cheerleader of my blog from the beginning. It was through her that the door was opened up for me to communicate with Darrell Cochran.

Debrah H. was someone from early on that lent her legal expertise and guided me through the legal process and encouraged me to stay strong in this fight against a predator. She didn’t even know me and she didn’t live in this area but because her brother, Dave, contacted her and shared our struggle, she stepped in to help. Thank you for all that you did!

Dave and Kathy H. and their girls have been very generous in practical ways. They know personally the individuals that I talk about in my blog, yet they have supported what I was trying to do 100%. Because I have always greatly respected both Dave and Kathy, their support in what I was trying to do with the blog gave me much strength. Thank you for all you’ve done and for always checking in on us.

Dee H. has been a very supportive friend. She went as far as consulting an attorney and offered to re-post my blog if it came to a time that I was forced to take it down. This was something that touched me deeply, thank you, Dee!

Bekah D.– Took on the Special Assault facility in Kitsap county and did a TOTAL remodel with the majority of the funds coming through a non-profit that her sister-in-law works with. The assault center was transformed from a rundown, depressing place, which compounded the traumatic experience a family had to cycle through, into an emotionally safe place to enter and start the healing process from sexual abuse. Bekah knew that was high on my list of changes I wanted to accomplish. I know Bekah has always supported my blog and what I have been trying to accomplish by writing it. Thank you!

Donna M. is Bekah D.’s sister-in-law that I referred to, who not only made a huge impact in the Kitsap community but tried to financially support our legal battle….unfortunately, we were not successful in finding a way to secure the funds. (This is an area I want to try and fill the gap in-in the future) None-the-less, the heart behind the offer touched me deeply and helped me to continue looking for an avenue to fund the legal battle. Thank you for your support and generosity.

There were many individuals that contributed to the legal fund or to our family personally, many who extended words of encouragement, and then there were the people that shared their own personal story of how abuse had touched their lives. All of these individuals helped focus me and gave me strength to persevere. All of you walked this out with me! Thank you!

You might be wondering what’s next… I plan to rest (emotionally speaking for awhile) and continue my healing process. In the future I plan to do some volunteering at the local assault center with the ultimate goal of getting some laws changed in regards to how victims are handled, their rights, not to mention changing how sexual predators are viewed and sentenced. I hope to see a time when victims unite and become one very loud voice to fight together against childhood sexual abuse. This is an epidemic that can be squashed with something as simple as awareness.


Awareness can stop the cycle of abuse.


* My speech from November 12, 2011 - Pop The Cork Victory Celebration.

Sweet Victory

Please join in my celebration by clicking on this song: We Are The Champions By Queen

Today, I had a sweet victory! The blog stays as is! The lawsuit was dismissed with prejudice! I am still soaking it all in. When the judge so calmly ruled, tears of relief started to fall down my face. This victory is for all the other "victims" out there that have wanted to speak up but have been unable to. We must be able to tell our stories, in particular when there is documented evidence to support the claims. I believe with all my heart, Awareness is the best prevention!

A Shield, Not A Sword

"He can use the 5th amendment as a shield but he can't turn around and use it as a sword as well." This was one of the best statements my attorney, Talis Abolins, has used.

In describing how it's Patrick's right to plead the 5th amendment but he can't then turn around and expect me to fairly defend my statements on this blog without delving into his sexual deviant history and all those that have known about it. It's brilliant. If you look at the public court documents that have been submitted you will see one example of something Patrick considers a false defaming statement in my blog, that I refer to him as a pedophile. No, really! "He was (only) charged with communication with a minor for immoral purposes." Hence, he is not a pedophile....forget about the 6 victims that range from 1.5yrs old to 11yrs old or that the abuses that occurred on several of the victims were numerous and sexual in nature, that classic grooming techniques were used to confuse and quiet his adolescent victims and their families. Or that Patrick, at the time we exposed him, had been at this for seven years!

Another one, Patrick contends that he wasn't contesting the "No Contact Order"...something about just wanting his attorney to review the order. REALLY? It took THREE trips to the court house BUT Patrick wasn't REALLY contesting the no contact order. Don't get me started on this one...No contact orders are so straight forward!!!!

I believe it's always been about control. Pedophilia is about control. This lawsuit is about control. I hope, I pray the control will be stripped from Patrick this coming Friday!

Private Thoughts

"Would you want your private thoughts made public," is something I hear the individuals that have supported Patrick and believe he is rehabiltated ask. REALLY? No, I wouldn't want my every thought made public because they are just that-thoughts. If I am a criminal would I want my crimes made public? Again, I would have to assume no, because making my crimes public would greatly hinder me from committing future crimes.

Patrick had to pass the evaluation as "truthful" in order for his plea agreement to hold in our case. The evaluation was done over a certain time period with multiple steps. One of the steps was a lie detector test. These are not fantasies or thoughts. These were acts that Patrick ACTUALLY committed. The detailed crimes in the evaluation are words straight from Patrick, himself, of ACTIONS HE DID! I am confident Patrick and his attorney banked on the psycho sexual evaluation not being considered public information. Now that it has been ruled "public" Patrick can not hide behind the 5th ammendment. Why would Patrick even need to hide behind the 5th ammendment, you ask?

Because my blog is true! The crimes I suggest or state are true. The risk Patrick poses to children is true! The usage of religion to gain sympathy and manipulate is true! The suggestion that there are other predators in the immediate family should be investigated! My concern for other innocent families being in community with the Rojas family is valid! And the evaluation backs all those statements up! Patrick can not honestly answer the discovery questions for the lawsuit without incriminating himself or others in his family!

I Was In, All The Way, Almost

Why didn't I reconize how bad this was while I was in it? I remember raising my eyebrow and discussing it with a few others and questioning how strange it was... to chastise your adult child. To basically require your older girls to discipline and raise your younger children...one reason I stopped at six kids was because I didn't think I could personally handle raising more and didn't want to burn-out my older children before they ever had a chance to live their own lives. But when it is all being sold under "selflessness" and "God only gives you what you can handle" "God is soverign" "Just trust God to provide" ....

I wanted to glorify God...I wanted to raise my children in a Christ-centered home (I was insecure because I came from virtually the opposite type of upbringing.)

I saw this group that appeared to be very Christ-like...selfless, serving, devoted. They seemed to practice what they preached (although, I had been around Christians for years it seemed there were so many that didn't actually live out basic biblical precepts, as I interpret them) and here was this group that seemed to live them out and their children were respectful, kind, loving, and seemed very happy. Who wouldn't be attracted to that? I desired a "happy" family that glorified God. I was in, all the way, almost.

Then this happened.

I couldn't do what I knew the elders and Eddie and Kathy wanted me to do even if it meant I was "ungodly." Because in their eyes my actions were not biblical. The pressure was overwhelming, coupled with the devastation of what we believed to have happened to our child.

As time went on the revelations grew worse. We became aware of other adult family members that could have warned us of Patrick's propensity to sexually abuse adolesent children, we learned of additional victims, betrayl upon betrayl.

Then, I started this blog.

How could my blog possibly be biblical? (I say that very sarcastically.)
It's gossip, you know. It's written by a women, "Who is easially deceived." I can hear "them" saying..."Patrick is only biblically required to confess his sins (crimes) to his "elders" and as long as he repents and follows their guidence there would be no biblical reason to keep him from the fellowship of believers." "And TRUE forgiveness means full reconciliation."

You wouldn't dare talk about the possibility of re-offending...and if he were to re-offend, Patrick would need to again, confess and repent, and so the cycle goes. IT IS SO SICK and SO WRONG!

Why do some parents tolerate this?

Rehabilitated ?

What concerns me about the individuals that surround and support Patrick is the fact that they claim he is rehabilitated. He is healed of pedophilia.

That is EXACTLY what Patrick wants them to believe.

Can anyone prove that Patrick hasn't sexually abused a child since we reported the crimes committed in our family, January 2007? NO! Just like I can't prove he has. The only way to know for certain that Patrick isn't abusing another child is to limit his access to minor children. Anyone that would "take a chance" and allow Patrick access to their minor children are neglegant parents! Anyone that keeps the families secrets are neglegant individuals.

Dormant maybe, rehabilitated, NO!

Connect The Dots

It seems there are many individuals that know about sexual deviant acts committed by one or more Rojas family memebers over the years but no one has put it all together. For some reason I was the first to report a crime committed by Patrick, even though he had seven years of previous sexual deviant behavior and lying. I was the first to shine a spotlight publically on this family. It's hard for me to imagine so many others have kept quiet.

Why? Why are you keeping quiet?

It's NOT un-godly to expose sin of this magnitude publically! Especially since the Rojas family have a history of moving around so much. And let's not forget that Eddie Rojas is a wanted felon in the state of Washington!

It's time to connect the dots!