Prayer Time for the Schneider's...not really!

Shortly after the Valentines dinner, I went to a friend and expressed my deep hurt in the fact that the church had hosted this dinner and that she and her husband had attended the event. I went on to express that I would expect people in the church to be literally praying with us or the Rojas family (at this point we had no idea that Eddie and Kathy Rojas were involved nor did we have any idea of how deviant Patrick was.) It was not a time for status quo.

Right after this conversation, my friend started orchestrating a prayer time for us. We were willing to show up for this, but didn't want the Rojas family there. While we didn't have specific information at this point, we sensed something wasn't right. It appeared they were in support of Patrick hiring an attorney.

Eric expressed this concern with our elder, Jim Cameron. Jim stated that Eddie and Kathy Rojas hadn't done anything wrong and made it clear they would be at the prayer time for our family. Jim also stated that if we didn't attend this prayer time, we were letting satan win and missing out on what God had for us. A couple came over and pleaded for us to attend this prayer time. They felt it was vital for the congregation to see that we were devastated and broken--not angry and bitter (as some had said.) 

We showed up at the church against our better judgment. We brought a couple that did not attend that church to help filter what was happening.

The meeting started out being more of a question-and-answer time directed by Jim Cameron and Dave Barrueto. Eddie and Kathy Rojas sat quietly in the front row. We were asked how we would like the congregation to pray for us. We took that time to remind those in attendance that we had always been willing to talk to anyone who had questions. We stayed where we were seated while the prayers began. Dave Barrueto ended the prayer time with a prayer for Patrick. I couldn't barely stand it. I was sickened by that. Pray for Patrick--fine, but don't do it in my presence! Not now. This was another moment that was written off by most as, "Oh, this was just an innocent mistake." It wasn't simply a mistake! It was rude and insensitive! It was purposeful!

This was the last time we attended that church, but it took another devastating interaction with Patrick, the Rojas family, and the elders before we had the strength to actually officially leave the church.

From "Insensitive With a Purpose" post.

Kathy Knew....breathe, just breathe

I remember throughout everything that was happening in our family I would have to tell myself..... breathe....just breathe. One day while I was out doing errands I heard this song playing overhead, it caught my attention. Breathe by Anna Nalick

I have mentioned that Kathy Rojas knew of her son, Patrick's, pedophilia behavior. It has been very upsetting over time as I have reflected on some of the interactions between myself and Kathy.... The original "non emotions" at the meeting at our home, with only a whisper of, "I'm sorry it was my son." Followed by a phone call a few nights later after I didn't show up at a women's book study letting me know that she missed me and wanted to know how I was doing. This was within hours of us just receiving a call from a man stating he was Patrick's lawyer who wanted to know the name of the Sheriff's detective who we spoke with.

Breathe....just breathe
We discovered something had happened to our child on January 04, 2007. January 10, I started to receive cards from Kathy. One thing that struck me at the time,  there was never any reference to what happened. They all contained personal messages that had the same theme: she loved me, they all loved us, God is faithful, God is in control, to trust in Jesus, that our family was continually in their prayers, these specific bible references: Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. and 1 Peter 5:7 - casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.


She sent me the words printed out to, 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus and a lengthy poem written by Renee Rojas. "...will you trust in Me though the journey is hard? Will you trust in me; Will you give Me your heart?"....the basic theme of the poem.

breathe....just breathe.
Kathy never bothers to mention the fact that she knows her son is a pedophile or maybe I'm sorry I didn't protect your family and I allowed my son, who is a sexual predator, to stay the night at your home. Or maybe, my heart is broken for you, I know the agony you are feeling right now. Nor does she mention the victim in all of this.

She just felt it urgent to tell me to "trust God." Meaning what exactly? Kind of like how they "trusted God" by hiding the truth and by going into hiding?

Kathy Rojas

breathe....just breathe.
Another very long letter I received in April from a woman in the church ended with, "It's not about this trial that your facing, it's about God. He wants you to trust Him in it. I will continue to pray for you and your family to grow in Jesus...." This woman and her husband wrote a letter to the judge on behalf of Patrick.

breathe....just breathe.
There were other situations where an elder's wife wanted me to attend an annual homeschool planning meeting with Kathy Rojas. Becky Barrueto just could not wrap her mind around the fact that I was unable to be in the same room and act like there wasn't an elephant in the room.

breathe....just breathe.
There were other gatherings that various families hosted, such as a musical recital, they would invite the Rojas family (including Patrick) and our family. The Rojas family would show in force as if all was fine and we would be considered angry and bitter for not attending.

breathe....just breathe.
Because we reported a crime, because we were in mourning, because we set boundaries, because we wanted justice, we were not "trusting God." was how we were being portrayed.

How about this, We "trusted God" to bring to light all that was hidden in darkness! And He did! 


Now we are trusting God to take care of this lawsuit!
breathe....just breathe.

Jairus Knew All Along

Evil takes hold when good men do not speak out! ~Anonymous

In my opinion, Jairus Rojas, helped to facilitate the sexual abuse of my child as did his parents. Jairus never came forward during the investigation to talk to the sheriff's' detective. Jairus stayed silent along with his father, mother, and the elders of the church. Jairus along with Eddie loaned Patrick the $10,000.00 he needed to retain his slick Seattle attorney.

In January of 2oo8, just after Christmas and the New Years our family received a Christmas card in the mail from Benjamin and Jairus Rojas. It was unbelievable! I was speechless! Inside the card there was a personal message, "May God's peace fill your hearts in this coming year and may He pour out His blessings upon you. Love in Christ, Jairus and Benjamin." 


I was so enraged at how insensitive they were to have sent us a Christmas card. Both Jairus and Benjamin were supporting their brother, Patrick, and had not even taken the time to read his evaluation or know really what Patrick was capable of or even what he had done to our child.

This was when I called Jairus and confronted him about some of the things I have already mentioned in this and other posts. In the same phone conversation even as Jairus was trying to tell me that he and Patrick had no secrets and that it was the will of God for Jairus to stand along side his brother, I made the discovery he didn't have any idea of who he was supporting. Jairus didn't even have knowledge of the incest with a consenting adult "named relative" that Patrick was involved with (this was happening under Jairus's own nose in his own home.) I also learned in that conversation that Jairus was in full support of his father's decision to go into hiding with the rest of the family. Jairus was conned into believing that Eddie had no choice and that if he didn't run that the minor girls would be taken away by the State. I can assure you unless the State found that Eddie was sexually abusing his own children all the State wanted to do was ask questions about their relationship with Patrick. 

All Jairus could say was that Patrick was repentant and that Jairus believed he was to love his brother. Again, what planet are these people from? Patrick had been successfully lying to him and living a double life for 7 years. Patrick is a conman. But Jairus foolishly believes Patrick is somehow different now. What does he base his logic on? 

Parts taken from the "Jairus" post.

Another related post "ANONYMOUS"

Clear Right Side, Clear Wrong Side

More from "Pretending Status Quo"

When it became clear that the elders were in on the cover up (by their own admission at a church meeting) and that Eddie had gone on the run with most of his family. Eric and I felt that the families that stayed with the church really communicated by their actions (or non-action) which side they were on.

YES, at this point we believed there was a clear right side and a clear wrong side, both morally and biblically. We felt it was necessary to cut ourselves from any family that was still standing along side the elders and the church during that time. None of this was done lightly or without much personal grief. All of our children suffered on different levels, in particularly by losing friendships that had been nurtured for six years. All of our regular activities were affected by this. We had built a community with these families. We had literally moved our family so we could be closer to the church and more involved with this church community.

If you can imagine, we were in the country on just shy of one acre, homeschooling, juggling six kids, and  suddenly very isolated. Something died inside of me when all those families continued to fellowship with this church body. I don't even know how to adequately express what I felt. But I remember thinking how can we communicate to our children that you only stand up for what is right if it is easy or convenient? This was no small matter. If there was a time to stand up and do the right thing, this was it! There is still a core group that have stayed on with Jim Cameron and Dave Barrueto as elders.

We  had one family come to us personally and ask for forgiveness for the way they treated us during that time. They were sincere and I believe honestly understood the grief their actions caused us. They were also realistic and knew although we forgave them, everything was different now and did not expect us to be friends. The husband ended up writing a very long letter outlining (from a biblical point of view), how the church should have handled this situation and how to respond to an un-repentant Patrick as a christian. His letter was sent to all the church members and some other leaders that support what the Rojas family has done. What was strange to us was everything in his letter, we had been saying all through the court process (remember this went from January to August), but we didn't have scriptures attached to every statement. Thankfully his letter did seem to open the eyes of some.

We have a friend that always refers to the "ripple effect" that Patrick's crime caused. Like when you drop a rock in the water and you see the ripples expand further and further from that one little stone. I pray that the "ripple effect" from this little blog will grow and grow and grow and shine light into the darkness, be helpful to some, healing to others, and mean freedom for the Rojas girls!

What If

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.~Martin Luther King Jr.

I'd like to explore "What if we didn't call the police, question?"'

If you have read my previous posts and will assume some of the actions of the pastor, Eddie, (the predator's father) and elders stayed the same, It is logical to conclude we would have never known that our child was sexually molested beyond "a few kisses," and our family would have been counseled by the elders that true forgiveness meant fellowshipping again with Patrick (the abuser), the "relatives" that Patrick had sexually abused would still be vulnerable of being his victims again, Patrick would be able to pursue a career in any field (including working with children), Patrick would certainly add more victims to his resume, and our child would not have received the proper help and would be a continuous victim (literally and/or emotionally.)

I know some adults do not report the crime of childhood sexual abuse.  I submit to you, if you do not report a crime of sexual abuse against a child you are also abusing the child (in a different way.)

I want you to think about this: If Eddie would have educated himself on pedophilia the first time he discovered that Patrick had sexually abused one of his "nameless relatives" at age 15, (which according to Patrick's evaluation was his first victim.) IF, Eddie would have sought out the proper help for the "nameless relative" and reported Patrick and properly protected others from Patrick and sought out professional help for Patrick, then the five children that followed could have been spared the trauma and devastation of being sexually molested by Patrick! 


Instead, Eddie and Kathy Rojas chose to stay purposefully ignorant at the expense of innocent children (even their own.) I do not want to in any way be part of hiding or keeping secret any information that might possibly help protect children from being victimized by Patrick (or anyone else involved in hiding his crimes or hiding that he is a predator.)

If nothing else, I hope this brings awareness to parents and anyone that is responsible for children. Assuming the statistics are correct and 1 in 4 girls are sexually molested before the age of 18, this is an epidemic! Flushing these predators out into the light, by naming them and exposing their crimes, by demanding tougher laws with real prison sentences for sexually motivated crimes against children, and by educating ourselves on the issue of childhood sexual abuse  (www.darkness2light.org/ ) we will start to turn around this epidemic.

The change starts with you and with me! Are you willing to be an advocate for children? Are you willing to call and e-mail your State representatives? Are you willing to forward this blog to your contacts?


*Partly from "Was It Worth It Post".

Questions Considered Gossip

From my view, our church was in crisis. The pastor's adult son had victimized our child and the police were involved, shouldn't people be asking questions?

Instead questions were considered "gossip" and the congregation bought that hook, line, and sinker.

One of the events that really bothered me was when the leadership decided to have a "Valentines Dinner" for the married couples.(about 1 month into everything) Of course, we were invited.....WHAT??....What planet were these people from? I just could not act as if nothing happened. My child was being interviewed by a sexual assault specialist, we were being interviewed by the sheriff investigating the case, we were being contacted by Patrick's lawyer, we were finding out more and more information about pedophiles and how they operate, we were being told that Patrick was refusing to cooperate with the state, and we were realizing that our leaders were in fact minimizing the sexual abuse of a child--our child.

Somehow during this I had the presence of mind to realize the best thing we could do for our child was acknowledge that a crime did in fact occur. That was the start of my conviction to really live this out. We were not going to pretend that everything was as if it was before the victimization of our child. We were going to deal with this now...in hopes of saving our child from a life time of "stuffing their emotions" and hopefully minimize the long term damage and hold that sexual molestation can have on an individual.

*From "Pretending Status Quo"

Listen To What Patrick Does

True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice. Martin Luther King, Jr.


People who support Patrick often defend their position with statements such as, "Patrick has repented and is forgiven and we are all sinners, his sin is no different."

I really want to look at these people sideways.

I want to tackle the "repentant" issue. I am sorry, but in no way can I consider Patrick repentant! I know I am not God and I can not peer into his heart. I also know being repentant is much more than just words and tears.

Someone very wise said to me, "Listen to what Patrick does, not what he says." I want you to listen to what Patrick did. 
* He only admitted to kissing our child (only because he knew we already knew that information from our child), 
*Patrick hired what we considered a slick attorney, instead of accepting the consequences for the crimes he committed, 
*When the sheriff tried to interview him, he refused to make a statement, 
*Patrick withheld the names of his additional victims (a selfish act, to protect himself from further prosecution),
* Patrick solicits others to write letters of support for him, 
*Patrick has never attempted through any legal channel to pay restitution to our family for all the extra expenses we've had because of the victimization,
*since Patrick's sentencing he has violated his probation and had to serve additional time.
*Patrick appeared to contest an extension of a No Contact Order we filed for the victim in our family,
*Patrick filed a lawsuit against the parents of his victim for telling Our Story.

These are not the actions of someone who is repentant! Someone who is repentant would do everything they could to keep potential victims safe. I also believe they would take accountability for their actions and accept  the consequences. Patrick should live in the light. Adults in Patrick's life should know he is a predator and they should understand the danger he poses. Patrick should never be alone with a child. Patrick should name his additional victims so they can receive proper help and he should be willing to accept the consequences that go with his crimes (seeing an abuser receive a "just" sentence goes a long way in the healing process.)

Patrick can not live life as if he is like someone who is not a sexual predator! The more a sexual predator tries to hide and live as if they do not have a dangerous problem the more you should be afraid of them. Until Patrick is living in the light, Patrick's supporters in the christian community are enabling him to groom another family. They give him credibility by keeping his secrets and choosing to stay naive on the subject matter. 

Remember Mr and Mrs Rojas and Jairus Rojas knew of Patrick's pedophile behavior and kept it a secret.

After our family was victimized, I confronted Jairus about his knowledge of Patrick being a pedophile and Jairus stated, "Patrick had repented and had matured." My response," Oh, so you thought you would experiment on my family?"

And then there was victim number six, my child.


*From "Repentant ???" post.

Something Wasn't Right

Early on, it became clear to Eric and I that "something wasn't right."After a series of attempts where we tried to explain to the elders our belief that what in fact happened was bigger and more serious than "just inappropriate affection." We were cautioned about gossip, becoming bitter, that is was wrong to listen to "worldly" psychology, and that we needed to get to a place of forgiveness (which in their interpretation meant immediate reconciliation with Patrick and our family) we knew we needed to break from this congregation and it's leadership.

This was the start of our isolation. Some would say the isolation was self inflicted. I would argue we were collateral damage that the leadership was willing to lose in order to save their church. To stand with our family would have meant standing against the Rojas family. The elders were "used" by Eddie Rojas BUT they had an opportunity to tell the truth to us and the authorities BUT they chose to stay silent. If the elders felt they needed to stay silent out of a biblical obligation, then why, within days after Patrick was sentenced (and protected from further charges in our case) did they break "privilege"  and tell a room full of church members that they knew detailed information about what he did to our child and that they didn't report it?

It has been said that we are the ones that are in sin....we are angry, bitter, and unforgiving....

I reject that! 

Peninsula Household of Faith Fellowship's Elders Knew

Two days after Patrick's sentencing the elders called a "Heads of Household" meeting. During this meeting the elders, (still currently in leadership at, Peninsula Household of Faith Fellowship of Churches, in Port Orchard, WA.) would admit to having a private meeting with Patrick and Eddie Rojas. The elders were pressed by some in attendance and the elders would eventually reveal that during the private meeting Patrick admitted to them all that he had done to our child. They knew for six months before we knew.

THE ELDERS KNEW! And kept quiet. They never told us the additional crimes beyond the "kisses." Jim and Dave knew details of the abuse our child had endured but didn't tell anyone, not even us, the victims parents. The elders spent the day (literally) with Patrick and Eddie. They even came over to our home directly after that specific meeting.

We had asked a couple in the church to come and be a witness to the meeting (the husband was out of town) but the wife came. The elders, Dave Barrueto and Jim Cameron, basically came to see how we were and told us that they had been in contact with other pastors to get advice and that they had contacted a lawyer to find out their legal liability. I remember them explaining that because we had reported the crime, "They had no legal obligation to report it as well." That since the case was now in the "states" hands they were not going to talk about it with us. 


They did ask  how they could help us in the process of healing, forgiving, and reconciliation. 


Our friend that was with us has a background working in a sexual assault center and she directly asked the elders if there was any information that came out of their private meeting that we (the parents of the victim) should know? Any new information at all? Jim Cameron had been at the original meeting with us and knew exactly what Patrick had admitted to doing to our child in front of Eric and I. The elders looked at each other and said,"No, nothing to add." They reminded us they were going to stay out of the legal stuff.

Approximately 2 1/2weeks after our initial discovery of the abuse and the elders private meeting with Patrick , Jim Cameron, was interviewed by the sheriff detective working on our case. 


Jim Cameron ends his statement to the sheriff with, "In his opinion Patrick wanted to stay pure, but wanted to know what it felt like to kiss ....... and it was just the wrong place and wrong age."


We would not know that Jim Cameron had basically mislead the sheriff detective until after the sentencing of Patrick. When I saw (on the report) that Jim Cameron minimized the crime in his statement and in my opinion, he even lies by omission, I will have to admit my heart filled with hate. This man along with Eddie and Dave Barrueto knew everything....he knew that we, as the victims parents, didn't know what had really been done to our child. He and the others in authority allowed the church congregation to believe what happened was "only a kiss." 

Not for six more months did we know what had actually happened to our child at the hands of Patrick. Which by the way....we never minimized. From day one we considered even a kiss forced on a sleeping child in their own bedroom from a 22yr old to be sexual abuse and so does the state of Washington! Six months! 


The state had no reason to believe nor did they have proof beyond our child had been groomed and kissed by a pedophile. So, they entered a plea agreement to avoid trial. Eddie, Dave Barrueto, and Jim Cameron influenced the outcome of the charges filed by their silence and they also influenced a congregation to support a seriously dangerous pedophile. 

THE ELDER'S BETRAYAL IMPEDED JUSTICE!


*Elder's Post

Last Time Eddie Was Seen In Washington State

The evaluation revealed that Patrick at (15yrs of age) was "caught" and that he was disciplined by his father, he repented and all was forgiven. Then again at (age 17)  Patrick was caught another time. This time Patrick shared that both his parents talked with him, that he repented and all was forgiven.

Life as normal to the outside world.

As part of the evaluation, Patrick had to reveal all of his minor victims and outline the crimes in detail. What I am willing to say about the other victims: ages range from 18 months old to11yrs old. Patrick was actively victimizing someone when he was between the ages of 15-22, (then we reported him.) Out of the five additional victims four of them could qualify him for 4 charges of child molestation in the first degree and the fifth would be a lesser charge. (Patrick states that per his lawyers advise he only gives the age, sex and details of the sexual abuse of his 5 additional victims. He does however name the adult sister that he had consensual sexual contact with. Along with the details of what was done to my child.)

Eric and I were told to keep the sex/psycho evaluation information quiet. This was an ongoing investigation and we shouldn't talk about it. It would be two more months before Patrick's sentencing day and before all the information would become publicly accessible.

We didn't know at the sentencing that we would be dealt the final blow.(At least we hoped it is was final blow, but it wasn't...) The Sunday before Patrick was sentenced Eddie Rojas stepped down from his role as Pastor of the church. Eddie attended Patrick's sentencing and was approached by CPS and was asked to produce the girls for an interview. Eddie asked for some time. He told others that he was taking his family camping to get away from everything and that's the last Eddie or the minor children have been seen in Washington State. 


Evaluation Request Information:http://ourstoryhelp.blogspot.com/2010/10/evaluation-request.html

Culpable

Eddie, Kathy and an older brother, Jairus, knew of Patrick's pedophilia tendencies and kept it secret. I believe this makes them just as culpable as Patrick in the crimes against our family and his other victims. (Some of which are currently with Eddie Rojas in hiding.)

It is to this day still hard for me to believe that they knew yet still allowed and encouraged Patrick's interactions with our family.

As a condition of Patrick's plea agreement with the state, Patrick had to take a court ordered sexual psychological evaluation. These evaluations are very intense. Part of the evaluation includes a number of sessions along with a lie detector test and such.

We would not know until mid June 2007 the results of the evaluation. (Remember we reported the crime in January 2007.)

I remember the day clearly, the phone rang and it was the prosecutor, Kelly Montgomery, along with Eric on a three way call. She started by saying she had a feeling that Patrick was bad but had no idea just how bad he was. She stated that the 40+page evaluation she had in front of her was one of the worst to come across her desk in a long while.

She hated to have to tell us...... but needed to let us know that our child had been victimized to an even greater extent than we had previously known.

She read us the detailed description word for word of what Patrick had done to our child. She read direct quotes from Patrick taken during his evaluation. Part of his evaluation required him to take a polygraph examination. He had to pass the polygraph as truthful in order for the plea agreement to stay in place. This agreement protected him from further charges with any additional information pertaining to our case. The prosecutor went on to explain to us that our child was one of 6 victims. Also revealed to us, Patrick had taken part in bestiality, online pornography, and incest with a consenting adult sister.

If that wasn't horrifically, shocking enough she added that Patrick's parents, Eddie and Kathy Rojas, were aware of his pedophilia behavior which started around age 15. He was 22 at this time. Seven years of sexual deviant behavior kept hidden within the family. Numerous victims.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~MLK, Jr.

*Parts from "What Eddie Knew" post. More tomorrow.

Pedophiles Job

You may wonder how we missed that our child was being groomed and had been sexually molested. A pedophile grooms the entire family and gains trust of everyone around the targeted child. It's almost ALWAYS someone the family knows and loves.

"People who are predators are really good at seducing children. This is their job. This is what they do. If they do it well, you are seduced before you know it. You don't know that it's seduction, that's the whole point..." ~from a TV special~

A church is ideal grounds to groom families. Our church was set-up to be very family oriented. Most of the families home schooled and integrating all ages is the norm. Pedophiles are typically patient and watch for vulnerabilities in the targeted family.

Our family was particularly vulnerable. Just in a years time prior to Patrick's crimes against our child, there was cancer in our immediate family, we had a new born, and moved twice.

The Rojas family was always there to help us. Patrick started tutoring one of our children and taking him on as a "little brother in Christ" type mentoring. This is every parents dream. A seemly Godly young man taking time out of his life to encourage another whom is younger. Our family welcomed the involvement. This is how Patrick gained access to the victim child.

Anything that might of normally been a "red flag" was easily explained away because of how "Godly, caring, and humble," the Rojas family was. I did have some "gut" feelings but didn't pay attention and act on them. I thought my "paranoia" was born out of my own life experiences. I will never ignore my gut again.Our children were not able to go on sleep overs (with rare exceptions) for the simple fact we didn't want them vulnerable to sexual abuse. Our kids were almost always supervised around other children for the same reason. Because of my background I am always suspicious of others.

There were a few times we knew Patrick left our child a note that read "Smile Jesus loves you" (with a smiley face) and would leave a few pieces of candy. I would tell myself, "How thoughtful, Patrick knew that this child would feel left out because they weren't going and doing x,y or z like their sibling was." Perfectly logical, he's from a family with 13 siblings who are taught to think of others. He also didn't just single out the victim, he would mix it up and sometimes give treats to all the kids. Patrick was always the "thoughtful guy."

Does too good to be true come to your mind? 

Let's not forget that he had help from his parents, Eddie and Kathy Rojas along with Jairus, all of whom had knowledge of Patrick's pedophilia behaviors long before we reported the crimes against our family.

*Parts are from the original "Questions" post.

Do You Get It

From the first deviant sexual act, the child is forever changed!


Do you get what is taken from a child when they are sexually molested, regardless of the level of the molestation? Their innocence. Their ability to trust. Something that is meant to be beautiful,(sexual intimacy,) gets introduced as something dirty and bad. The child's sense of safety is robbed.

The child that is damaged far more is the child who never tells or isn't supported when they do tell. The trauma that is caused by childhood sexual abuse, if not properly dealt with, can lead to a lifetime of residual consequences.

At our church there seemed to be an overwhelming amount of individuals who wanted to bury their heads in the sand. They didn't want to know what was really happening with our case or in our family. I believe they chose this so they could be friends with everybody. I am not good at playing that game. This was too big!

All the areas of our lives that this affected made it such that we just couldn't play along. Essentially, we stayed away from these people, they didn't want to know and we didn't have the emotional energy at the time to make them face the facts. Amazingly enough most of these people wrote letters in support of Patrick to the judge asking for leniency.

The leaders weren't discouraging it and hey, he was Patrick Rojas, and it was only "inappropriate affections." They didn't bother to ask us questions, or take the time to call the prosecutor, nor the sheriff detective in charge of the case. They simple pulled their heads out of the sand, wrote a letter of support for Patrick, and stuck their heads back in the sand.

Then when the true nature of Patrick and the crimes he committed were exposed they acted as if they shouldn't be held accountable for writing the letters of support because, "If they knew then what they know now......" THEY NEVER BOTHERED TO ASK QUESTIONS. To be fair the congregation was all but forbidden to speak about what was happening between the Rojas family and the Schneider family. This should have been a RED FLAG!

I don't even know what to say about the people who would quote scripture only to us. I have to be careful here so I am not misunderstood. When I would tell someone about what had happened in our family and then their response was something along the lines of, "Just trust God," "God is in control," or "God is sovereign." I wanted to shake the person and say,

"Does that make you feel better because it doesn't change any of the consequences that our family will endure."

Their statements actually made me somewhat defensive, what exactly were they implying? I felt like I needed to defend the fact that I was undone by what happened to my child and by who and with the help of others that I had respected and trusted. The countenance of the person and the way in which they were talking to me made it seem as if I was suppose to be happy about all of this because it was Gods' will. If I would just trust God everything would be fine. It was like I was doing something wrong by mourning the betrayal of so many people.

*From "Reactions" post.

Regret

The day after we reported the suspected crime against our child we thought the "right" thing to do would be to let Eddie Rojas and Jim Cameron know that we chose to involve the police. They were our pastor and elder. I deeply regret giving them the heads-up. We had no idea just how intertwined Eddie Rojas was with his son's deviant sexual behavior. We trusted the Rojas family. We trusted Eddie and Kathy Rojas. I believe everyone at the time actually felt sorry for Eddie and Kathy. No one in the general congregation and I mean NO ONE knew that both Eddie, Kathy along with Jairus knew that Patrick had a history of sexually abusing minor children. And it didn't help that their family just continued on with normal life and their normal activities as if nothing serious had transpired.

Our family on the other hand was devastated. Our lives would never be the same,our faith would never be the same, our ability to trust would be forever altered.

What good are we if in a moment of real need we deflect, distant ourselves, or ignore the issue?


 I don't want to ever be that person!

For the first two weeks our family was trying to figure out how to maneuver through all of what was happening. Initially, we stated that we didn't want our family named as the "victim family" when the leadership spoke of the matter. We wanted to try and control who knew it was our family for the simple reason of protecting our child's privacy. Fairly soon we decided we didn't have anything to hide and communicated to the leadership that it didn't matter to us who knew it was our family. (About a week after the discovery the leadership had a meeting and told the congregation that there had been "inappropriate affection" between Patrick Rojas and a child in the congregation. They informed the church members that the authorities were involved.)

When we started to tell our close family and friends the reactions were so diverse. I would start by saying that we called 911 to report sexual abuse by Patrick Rojas against one of our children. It was always disbelief  at first but after that some would actually start to cry and show deep concern for our child and family.  They would want to listen, ask questions, they would be real.

Some reactions were hurtful! I had a few people after the initial shock actually turn their concern towards Patrick. No kidding, one comment was, "Well he better get a good lawyer, the state will be out to get him."

Another one went right into rantings of how "The Rojas ways weren't all that great after all, now were they?"

In those moments, I was struck by the fact that the individual in front of me really hadn't heard me. I had just told them I had to call 911 because my child had been sexually molested by Patrick.

The comments I resent the most were the ones where the person would say, "At least that's all he did, it could have been worse."

I wanted to scream, WHAT IS WORSE?" (Any form of sexual abuse is devastating!)

These people just didn't get it! I think this is when I started to shut down inside, to hunker down.

Part of me died inside.

*Partly from the "Reactions" post.

911 Call

The following 24hrs after the emergency meeting were horrible, as you might imagine.

...it started to play back in my head....I kept thinking, are we making too much out of this? In the spirit of not being a "gossiper" we didn't let anyone else in our church or family know what we just discovered. (secrecy gives the sex offender power)

A name popped in my head, it was someone I could call that could help me process what we just discovered and would tell me if we were making something out of nothing. She has a masters in psychology and is a Christian. She would know what she was talking about from a biblical world view which mattered to me. I hadn't spoken to this person in many years other than running into to her at a mutual friends birthday party or something like that....but I located her number and called.

Almost immediately after outlining the note and the "emergency meeting" she stated that we needed to report sexual abuse to the police. I was very hesitant and she could tell. She went on to explain a 22yr old man does not just wake up one day and fall in love with a child under 12yrs old, that Patrick most certainly had other victims with the grooming pattern he displayed towards our child. She asked if he had any sisters and expressed concern for them. (The very girls that were taken into hiding by their father, Eddie Rojas, to protect a pedophile from further prosecution.) She told me to call a sexual abuse hot line and talk anonymously with them about our situation and see if they gave us the same advice, which was to call the police! As I'm sure my friend knew the sexual assault center did in fact say we absolutely needed to call the police!

Eric and I were still struggling and praying. When I looked at my husband and said, "if it were our neighbor that we were talking about we wouldn't hesitate calling the police." The phone rang. It was my friend who said I just want to ask you one thing "If this were your neighbor you were talking about would you even hesitate to call the police?" I was blown away. (This still gives me chills, to this day, when I recall it.) I explained that I just said that exact thing to Eric. She urged us to hang up and call 911.

That is exactly what we did!


*Retelling from the original "Discovery" post.  Our Story will continue tomorrow.

Emergency Meeting

*More from the original "Discovery" post.

I still wonder why we did it this way... I wish we would have called the police immediately. Hindsight, WE SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY. We gave the sex offender, his father and the elders time to formulate a plan and reach out for legal counsel.

But instead, Eric and I found a friend's home where our children could go and called an emergency meeting with, our former pastor, Eddie Rojas (whom is the offenders father) his wife, Kathy, Patrick, and one of our elders, Jim Cameron.

In the meeting Patrick admitted to kissing the victim on the lips multiple times while the victim was asleep in their own bedroom. With the note alone and the victims "dream like" minimal memory, charges may not have  been filed on Patrick and we would have never known just how twisted and dangerous he is. But because there were witnesses of  his admission and specifically a "non partial" witness, Jim Cameron, the admission was taken seriously when we reported it to the police. The prosecutor, Kelly Montgomery, reviewed the case and had a "gut feeling" about this one. She took the case on personally. She normally takes on the more high profile cases.

A few other things came out of the meeting that I would like to make mention of....when we read the definition of a pedophile in front of everyone immediately Eddie Rojas reached over his wife and touched Patrick on the leg and stated "one time does not make a pedophile"....and our elder, Jim Cameron, stated that he felt the "world" is too quick to label someone. Jim Cameron felt it was more like "inappropriate affection" rather than something criminal...this was the theme the elders and the Rojas family stuck with.

Another thing that always bugged me and that stuck out was when Eddie stated that he could empathize with Patrick because when Eddie was younger, 22yrs old, he had a crush on a 12yr old girl and wrote her some notes and her parents found them and told him to stop and Eddie said he did.

In the moment I pretty much sat in a chair and cried most of the time. Mrs. Rojas didn't say a word until they were leaving she hugged me and whispered, "I am so sorry it's my son." There was talk about the Rojas's disciplining Patrick and that the elders and Eddie and Patrick would need to meet to figure out what to do. Eddie wanted us to know that he would take this seriously. No mention of calling the police and reporting that a crime had occurred because you know (and I say this sarcastically) it is only "inappropriate affection" and "just a kiss". (That was forced on an 11yr old child that was asleep in their own bed by a 22yr old man.)

Now try to imagine, we were sitting with men we respect, as our pastor and elder. We were in shock and disbelief and being fed that really this wasn't that big of a matter. Definitely one that needed more discussion between Eddie and the elders but nothing beyond that. We were told basically that they would be praying for us and to let them know if we needed anything.

.....more tomorrow.

First Piece of Evidence

*Retelling from the "Discovery" post

We were having company come over the following night so our family was tidying up our home. The family we were having over ironically enough was the Rojas family. Anyway, Eric went into one of the rooms to check it out and upon inspection he found a letter inside the pillow case on one of the beds. The reaction from the child was strange so Eric came to me and we read it together.

My heart sank...there was a small torn note around the outside of the letter and here is some of what was written, "...best to tear the letter up when done reading and responding to it." ..."other notes I gave you should also be disposed of or given back to me." "This is a risky place for a mailbox....think of another place....put it there if you know I am coming or if your whole family is leaving."

Then we opened up the letter which was written on college lined paper and was two and 1/2 full pages, written 12/06......the paragraph that made me literally sick to my stomach was;

"I know that I didn't just offend you, I realize that I hurt you very deeply by what I did. I took from you something I can't ever give back......I did it because I love you. I assumed you loved me....but I guess I thought wrong".....

"......I also want to apologize for reading your diary.....since I read yours I feel as though you should read mine......"

".......I want to encourage you to grow closer to the Lord. He is more faithful than I could ever be......He has promised to be with you and never forsake you! :) "

"....P.P.S. Sometimes I feel like giving you a little gift (like gum or candy) because I want to bless you. But recently you haven't been very receptive of my efforts...."

We talked to the our child who stated their memory was very dream like and thought that Patrick kissed them.

Patrick was 22 years old and our child was 11.

What?  A kiss?  When?  How?  Really?    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Going Forward (Starting At The Beginning)

The appeal process is going forward. I saw it coming. Unfortunately, appealing the decision to dismiss his case is very characteristic to Patrick's behavior, thus far. But I was hopeful that the appeals court would dismiss his request to review the ruling all together....We are now waiting for Patrick to submit his briefing, at this point he is representing himself.

 I have been considering re-posting our story because there is still a wanted felon on the run, there are additional victims, of his, that have not seen justice for the crimes they endured, and a level two sex offender living freely in Port Orchard, Washington that is trying to get me to stop telling my story. To refresh your memory, I will be re-posting OUR STORY from the beginning. This is a great time to post a link to my blog and raise awareness!

 The following is from my initial post that started this blog. At the time I wrote this I had no idea I would have so much to say, that I would eventually receive tips and actually locate Eddie Rojas and family or that the actual sex offender of my child would have the audacity to sue me for telling OUR STORY.

 *I made a few minor changes to the original post: "How Can You Help?:

 We need your help in locating someone who is in hiding along with innocent minor children. There is an arrest warrant in the name of Francis Edward Rojas, AKA (Eddie Rojas) for "witness tampering." The warrant is out of Kitsap County court in Washington State, it is a nation wide warrant. Just prior to going into hiding, Eddie, was the pastor at "Peninsula Household of Faith Community Church" in Port Orchard, WA which is affiliated with the "Household of Faith Community Church's."

 In January 2007 we discovered that his adult son (whom lived under Eddie's roof) was a pedophile. I will attempt to outline the events that lead to Eddie taking his wife and 10 children into hiding, why there is a warrant for his arrest, and why you should help locate him. Our family has used all available legal channels and had hired a private detective to try and locate this man and haven't successfully found Eddie. I have reservations about using the internet but the pro's out weigh the con's....I need to know that I did not leave any reasonable possibility unexplored.

 This will be an emotional blog with a subject matter that is heinous but I can't shake the feeling that we may succeed in finding a wanted man with a felony warrant and bring healing to so many others. I have a large family and as time allows I will be posting more information, pictures, possible "hot" spots where Eddie may be in hiding along with more of our story.

 Check back to see how our REAL life story unfolds....