Clear Right Side, Clear Wrong Side

More from "Pretending Status Quo"

When it became clear that the elders were in on the cover up (by their own admission at a church meeting) and that Eddie had gone on the run with most of his family. Eric and I felt that the families that stayed with the church really communicated by their actions (or non-action) which side they were on.

YES, at this point we believed there was a clear right side and a clear wrong side, both morally and biblically. We felt it was necessary to cut ourselves from any family that was still standing along side the elders and the church during that time. None of this was done lightly or without much personal grief. All of our children suffered on different levels, in particularly by losing friendships that had been nurtured for six years. All of our regular activities were affected by this. We had built a community with these families. We had literally moved our family so we could be closer to the church and more involved with this church community.

If you can imagine, we were in the country on just shy of one acre, homeschooling, juggling six kids, and  suddenly very isolated. Something died inside of me when all those families continued to fellowship with this church body. I don't even know how to adequately express what I felt. But I remember thinking how can we communicate to our children that you only stand up for what is right if it is easy or convenient? This was no small matter. If there was a time to stand up and do the right thing, this was it! There is still a core group that have stayed on with Jim Cameron and Dave Barrueto as elders.

We  had one family come to us personally and ask for forgiveness for the way they treated us during that time. They were sincere and I believe honestly understood the grief their actions caused us. They were also realistic and knew although we forgave them, everything was different now and did not expect us to be friends. The husband ended up writing a very long letter outlining (from a biblical point of view), how the church should have handled this situation and how to respond to an un-repentant Patrick as a christian. His letter was sent to all the church members and some other leaders that support what the Rojas family has done. What was strange to us was everything in his letter, we had been saying all through the court process (remember this went from January to August), but we didn't have scriptures attached to every statement. Thankfully his letter did seem to open the eyes of some.

We have a friend that always refers to the "ripple effect" that Patrick's crime caused. Like when you drop a rock in the water and you see the ripples expand further and further from that one little stone. I pray that the "ripple effect" from this little blog will grow and grow and grow and shine light into the darkness, be helpful to some, healing to others, and mean freedom for the Rojas girls!

911 Call

The following 24hrs after the emergency meeting were horrible, as you might imagine.

...it started to play back in my head....I kept thinking, are we making too much out of this? In the spirit of not being a "gossiper" we didn't let anyone else in our church or family know what we just discovered. (secrecy gives the sex offender power)

A name popped in my head, it was someone I could call that could help me process what we just discovered and would tell me if we were making something out of nothing. She has a masters in psychology and is a Christian. She would know what she was talking about from a biblical world view which mattered to me. I hadn't spoken to this person in many years other than running into to her at a mutual friends birthday party or something like that....but I located her number and called.

Almost immediately after outlining the note and the "emergency meeting" she stated that we needed to report sexual abuse to the police. I was very hesitant and she could tell. She went on to explain a 22yr old man does not just wake up one day and fall in love with a child under 12yrs old, that Patrick most certainly had other victims with the grooming pattern he displayed towards our child. She asked if he had any sisters and expressed concern for them. (The very girls that were taken into hiding by their father, Eddie Rojas, to protect a pedophile from further prosecution.) She told me to call a sexual abuse hot line and talk anonymously with them about our situation and see if they gave us the same advice, which was to call the police! As I'm sure my friend knew the sexual assault center did in fact say we absolutely needed to call the police!

Eric and I were still struggling and praying. When I looked at my husband and said, "if it were our neighbor that we were talking about we wouldn't hesitate calling the police." The phone rang. It was my friend who said I just want to ask you one thing "If this were your neighbor you were talking about would you even hesitate to call the police?" I was blown away. (This still gives me chills, to this day, when I recall it.) I explained that I just said that exact thing to Eric. She urged us to hang up and call 911.

That is exactly what we did!


*Retelling from the original "Discovery" post.  Our Story will continue tomorrow.

Eddie's heart is not what he leads others to believe.

I know that I make some bold statements.

"In my opinion, the girls in that family have been brainwashed by their domineering, felon father." from my post, "Please help the Rojas girls."

If you are just meeting the Rojas family you may consider my opinions over the top. If I would not have lived this myself, I would have agreed. Let me just say that my comments are born out of years of having a very close mentoring relationship with Kathy Rojas herself. My statements are made from the actual actions of Eddie himself during the whole investigation and court process. On many occasions Eddie omitted information (lying by omission), directly lied, or mislead (lied.) While all of this was happening simultaneously pastoring a church and living daily life as if "nothing serious" really happened. And appearing to be a very godly man that was trusting the Lord.

During our entire nightmare not once has Eddie responded in a given situation the way I would have expected him to. He preached accountability. He preached trusting in the Lord our God. He preached integrity. Not in my wildest dreams would I have speculated Eddie taking his family into hiding to protect his pedophile son. No way! Eddie's heart is not what he leads others to believe.

Please help the Rojas girls.

I haven't focused much on my concern for the Rojas girls so far. This post will focus on that.

I have focused so much information on Eddie because the felony warrant is for him. I have also wanted as much information out there on Patrick Rojas simply because he is out in the community without any appropriate accountability. Patrick’s accountability with his brother, Jairus, has already proven to amount to be no more than a joke. The elders of our former church have already proved their disregard for our legal system, just as they have proved their acceptance of pedophile behavior.

I am exceedingly nervous about Patrick grooming another family and victimizing another child. It is a pedophilia’s job to gain trust and look for an opportunity to safely victimize. Most pedophiles are exceptionally patience. Part of what empowers someone like Patrick Rojas is the grooming process. He's good at it. He appears trustworthy. This is how he operated with us, even as he schemed to victimize.

One of my three reasons for continuing with this blog and asking others to pass these posts to all of their contacts is because of the Rojas girls. In my opinion, the girls in that family have been brainwashed by their domineering, felon father. For that matter, I believe all the children under Eddie have a very twisted, very unbiblical view of what is right and pure and Godly.

These additional victims of Patrick's need professional help. Have you dared to really look at the details and the extent in which they were victimized by their brother? God can heal their heart. God can help them forgive. God can redeem what was stolen from them. But think, for a moment, how difficult it will be for them to begin healing while they are living on the run from the law with their father, who has chosen time and time again to put his own safety above their own. Their father has chosen to keep them from help in order to protect their pedophilic brother.

It is my understanding that Eddie is of the mindset that the only “help” the girls need should come from their relationship with God and Eddie himself. I believe that God uses others in our healing process. I believe the healing process for childhood sexual abuse goes beyond the supernatural. From my own personal story, along with many other survivors of childhood sexual abuse, one resounding thing I hear is the long-term struggle to put the abuse behind them. In one way or the other, there are consequences of abuse. Eating disorders, cutting, drugs and alcohol abuse along with sexual issues as adults are all linked directly to victims of childhood sexual abuse who never told, never sought out qualified profession help to deal with all the complex emotions that are a result of being a child victim in particular. In the worst cases, they never were believed. Their abuse was minimized or ignored.

If you know where Eddie is hiding, please turn him in, if for no other reason than do it for the girls. With everything you have read on my blog, with the fact that Eddie took the girls on the run to protect Patrick, his pedophilia son, do you believe that Eddie has the best interest of his victimized girls in mind? It seems to me that Eddie does not want to face the gravity of the consequences of the crimes that were committed against his own daughters? Is Eddie in denial? Is Eddie also a perpetrator?

Imagine if your own daughters were at risk. Please help, before it is too late for these innocent young women.