Robbed of Innocence

Back to our story...

One of the things that was robbed from my child was learning about the beauty of sexual intimacy in the way God intended. I hadn't even talked with the child that was molested about sexual intimacy or puberty in any detail, yet. This child was so naive to that dimension of life.

My first discussions with this child about sexual intimacy was about a sexual deviant. I had to talk with this child about twisted individuals who do terrible things to children to fulfill disgusting desires. I needed to explain something to the child that they had no frame of reference for. Their first introduction to sexual intimacy was one of darkness.

Nothing can give back the innocence that was stolen by Patrick Rojas. Frankly, his parents, Eddie and Kathy Rojas along with Jairus are also responsible.

Of course I assured my child that they were not responsible in anyway for what had happened. That in no way was this child part of the darkness. Because of the lack of initial understanding this child is highly likely to have a point in their young adulthood of needing to process with a greater understanding what was done to them.

This is only one of the reasons our family can't "just move on" like some people seem to feel we should do. We do move on and then have to deal with something that is directly related and it throws us back, then we need to adjust, deal with whatever and try again to live life........ Denial doesn't change this process, either.

Listen To What Patrick Does

True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice. Martin Luther King, Jr.


People who support Patrick often defend their position with statements such as, "Patrick has repented and is forgiven and we are all sinners, his sin is no different."

I really want to look at these people sideways.

I want to tackle the "repentant" issue. I am sorry, but in no way can I consider Patrick repentant! I know I am not God and I can not peer into his heart. I also know being repentant is much more than just words and tears.

Someone very wise said to me, "Listen to what Patrick does, not what he says." I want you to listen to what Patrick did. 
* He only admitted to kissing our child (only because he knew we already knew that information from our child), 
*Patrick hired what we considered a slick attorney, instead of accepting the consequences for the crimes he committed, 
*When the sheriff tried to interview him, he refused to make a statement, 
*Patrick withheld the names of his additional victims (a selfish act, to protect himself from further prosecution),
* Patrick solicits others to write letters of support for him, 
*Patrick has never attempted through any legal channel to pay restitution to our family for all the extra expenses we've had because of the victimization,
*since Patrick's sentencing he has violated his probation and had to serve additional time.
*Patrick appeared to contest an extension of a No Contact Order we filed for the victim in our family,
*Patrick filed a lawsuit against the parents of his victim for telling Our Story.

These are not the actions of someone who is repentant! Someone who is repentant would do everything they could to keep potential victims safe. I also believe they would take accountability for their actions and accept  the consequences. Patrick should live in the light. Adults in Patrick's life should know he is a predator and they should understand the danger he poses. Patrick should never be alone with a child. Patrick should name his additional victims so they can receive proper help and he should be willing to accept the consequences that go with his crimes (seeing an abuser receive a "just" sentence goes a long way in the healing process.)

Patrick can not live life as if he is like someone who is not a sexual predator! The more a sexual predator tries to hide and live as if they do not have a dangerous problem the more you should be afraid of them. Until Patrick is living in the light, Patrick's supporters in the christian community are enabling him to groom another family. They give him credibility by keeping his secrets and choosing to stay naive on the subject matter. 

Remember Mr and Mrs Rojas and Jairus Rojas knew of Patrick's pedophile behavior and kept it a secret.

After our family was victimized, I confronted Jairus about his knowledge of Patrick being a pedophile and Jairus stated, "Patrick had repented and had matured." My response," Oh, so you thought you would experiment on my family?"

And then there was victim number six, my child.


*From "Repentant ???" post.

Pedophiles Job

You may wonder how we missed that our child was being groomed and had been sexually molested. A pedophile grooms the entire family and gains trust of everyone around the targeted child. It's almost ALWAYS someone the family knows and loves.

"People who are predators are really good at seducing children. This is their job. This is what they do. If they do it well, you are seduced before you know it. You don't know that it's seduction, that's the whole point..." ~from a TV special~

A church is ideal grounds to groom families. Our church was set-up to be very family oriented. Most of the families home schooled and integrating all ages is the norm. Pedophiles are typically patient and watch for vulnerabilities in the targeted family.

Our family was particularly vulnerable. Just in a years time prior to Patrick's crimes against our child, there was cancer in our immediate family, we had a new born, and moved twice.

The Rojas family was always there to help us. Patrick started tutoring one of our children and taking him on as a "little brother in Christ" type mentoring. This is every parents dream. A seemly Godly young man taking time out of his life to encourage another whom is younger. Our family welcomed the involvement. This is how Patrick gained access to the victim child.

Anything that might of normally been a "red flag" was easily explained away because of how "Godly, caring, and humble," the Rojas family was. I did have some "gut" feelings but didn't pay attention and act on them. I thought my "paranoia" was born out of my own life experiences. I will never ignore my gut again.Our children were not able to go on sleep overs (with rare exceptions) for the simple fact we didn't want them vulnerable to sexual abuse. Our kids were almost always supervised around other children for the same reason. Because of my background I am always suspicious of others.

There were a few times we knew Patrick left our child a note that read "Smile Jesus loves you" (with a smiley face) and would leave a few pieces of candy. I would tell myself, "How thoughtful, Patrick knew that this child would feel left out because they weren't going and doing x,y or z like their sibling was." Perfectly logical, he's from a family with 13 siblings who are taught to think of others. He also didn't just single out the victim, he would mix it up and sometimes give treats to all the kids. Patrick was always the "thoughtful guy."

Does too good to be true come to your mind? 

Let's not forget that he had help from his parents, Eddie and Kathy Rojas along with Jairus, all of whom had knowledge of Patrick's pedophilia behaviors long before we reported the crimes against our family.

*Parts are from the original "Questions" post.

911 Call

The following 24hrs after the emergency meeting were horrible, as you might imagine.

...it started to play back in my head....I kept thinking, are we making too much out of this? In the spirit of not being a "gossiper" we didn't let anyone else in our church or family know what we just discovered. (secrecy gives the sex offender power)

A name popped in my head, it was someone I could call that could help me process what we just discovered and would tell me if we were making something out of nothing. She has a masters in psychology and is a Christian. She would know what she was talking about from a biblical world view which mattered to me. I hadn't spoken to this person in many years other than running into to her at a mutual friends birthday party or something like that....but I located her number and called.

Almost immediately after outlining the note and the "emergency meeting" she stated that we needed to report sexual abuse to the police. I was very hesitant and she could tell. She went on to explain a 22yr old man does not just wake up one day and fall in love with a child under 12yrs old, that Patrick most certainly had other victims with the grooming pattern he displayed towards our child. She asked if he had any sisters and expressed concern for them. (The very girls that were taken into hiding by their father, Eddie Rojas, to protect a pedophile from further prosecution.) She told me to call a sexual abuse hot line and talk anonymously with them about our situation and see if they gave us the same advice, which was to call the police! As I'm sure my friend knew the sexual assault center did in fact say we absolutely needed to call the police!

Eric and I were still struggling and praying. When I looked at my husband and said, "if it were our neighbor that we were talking about we wouldn't hesitate calling the police." The phone rang. It was my friend who said I just want to ask you one thing "If this were your neighbor you were talking about would you even hesitate to call the police?" I was blown away. (This still gives me chills, to this day, when I recall it.) I explained that I just said that exact thing to Eric. She urged us to hang up and call 911.

That is exactly what we did!


*Retelling from the original "Discovery" post.  Our Story will continue tomorrow.

No, Really!

It appears that Patrick is requesting that an appellate counsel be appointed to him. No, really! Not sure if I should laugh or cry... All I know is that I am in a "wait and see" stance. Will the court accept Patrick's request for an appeal? Will the courts appoint counsel? YOUR tax dollars might be used to pay for Patrick's public appointed counsel.

Fretting over what MAY be...won't do me any good. For now, I am pushing this to the back burner and plan to enjoy this holiday with my family.