Peninsula Household of Faith Fellowship's Elders Knew

Two days after Patrick's sentencing the elders called a "Heads of Household" meeting. During this meeting the elders, (still currently in leadership at, Peninsula Household of Faith Fellowship of Churches, in Port Orchard, WA.) would admit to having a private meeting with Patrick and Eddie Rojas. The elders were pressed by some in attendance and the elders would eventually reveal that during the private meeting Patrick admitted to them all that he had done to our child. They knew for six months before we knew.

THE ELDERS KNEW! And kept quiet. They never told us the additional crimes beyond the "kisses." Jim and Dave knew details of the abuse our child had endured but didn't tell anyone, not even us, the victims parents. The elders spent the day (literally) with Patrick and Eddie. They even came over to our home directly after that specific meeting.

We had asked a couple in the church to come and be a witness to the meeting (the husband was out of town) but the wife came. The elders, Dave Barrueto and Jim Cameron, basically came to see how we were and told us that they had been in contact with other pastors to get advice and that they had contacted a lawyer to find out their legal liability. I remember them explaining that because we had reported the crime, "They had no legal obligation to report it as well." That since the case was now in the "states" hands they were not going to talk about it with us. 


They did ask  how they could help us in the process of healing, forgiving, and reconciliation. 


Our friend that was with us has a background working in a sexual assault center and she directly asked the elders if there was any information that came out of their private meeting that we (the parents of the victim) should know? Any new information at all? Jim Cameron had been at the original meeting with us and knew exactly what Patrick had admitted to doing to our child in front of Eric and I. The elders looked at each other and said,"No, nothing to add." They reminded us they were going to stay out of the legal stuff.

Approximately 2 1/2weeks after our initial discovery of the abuse and the elders private meeting with Patrick , Jim Cameron, was interviewed by the sheriff detective working on our case. 


Jim Cameron ends his statement to the sheriff with, "In his opinion Patrick wanted to stay pure, but wanted to know what it felt like to kiss ....... and it was just the wrong place and wrong age."


We would not know that Jim Cameron had basically mislead the sheriff detective until after the sentencing of Patrick. When I saw (on the report) that Jim Cameron minimized the crime in his statement and in my opinion, he even lies by omission, I will have to admit my heart filled with hate. This man along with Eddie and Dave Barrueto knew everything....he knew that we, as the victims parents, didn't know what had really been done to our child. He and the others in authority allowed the church congregation to believe what happened was "only a kiss." 

Not for six more months did we know what had actually happened to our child at the hands of Patrick. Which by the way....we never minimized. From day one we considered even a kiss forced on a sleeping child in their own bedroom from a 22yr old to be sexual abuse and so does the state of Washington! Six months! 


The state had no reason to believe nor did they have proof beyond our child had been groomed and kissed by a pedophile. So, they entered a plea agreement to avoid trial. Eddie, Dave Barrueto, and Jim Cameron influenced the outcome of the charges filed by their silence and they also influenced a congregation to support a seriously dangerous pedophile. 

THE ELDER'S BETRAYAL IMPEDED JUSTICE!


*Elder's Post

Regret

The day after we reported the suspected crime against our child we thought the "right" thing to do would be to let Eddie Rojas and Jim Cameron know that we chose to involve the police. They were our pastor and elder. I deeply regret giving them the heads-up. We had no idea just how intertwined Eddie Rojas was with his son's deviant sexual behavior. We trusted the Rojas family. We trusted Eddie and Kathy Rojas. I believe everyone at the time actually felt sorry for Eddie and Kathy. No one in the general congregation and I mean NO ONE knew that both Eddie, Kathy along with Jairus knew that Patrick had a history of sexually abusing minor children. And it didn't help that their family just continued on with normal life and their normal activities as if nothing serious had transpired.

Our family on the other hand was devastated. Our lives would never be the same,our faith would never be the same, our ability to trust would be forever altered.

What good are we if in a moment of real need we deflect, distant ourselves, or ignore the issue?


 I don't want to ever be that person!

For the first two weeks our family was trying to figure out how to maneuver through all of what was happening. Initially, we stated that we didn't want our family named as the "victim family" when the leadership spoke of the matter. We wanted to try and control who knew it was our family for the simple reason of protecting our child's privacy. Fairly soon we decided we didn't have anything to hide and communicated to the leadership that it didn't matter to us who knew it was our family. (About a week after the discovery the leadership had a meeting and told the congregation that there had been "inappropriate affection" between Patrick Rojas and a child in the congregation. They informed the church members that the authorities were involved.)

When we started to tell our close family and friends the reactions were so diverse. I would start by saying that we called 911 to report sexual abuse by Patrick Rojas against one of our children. It was always disbelief  at first but after that some would actually start to cry and show deep concern for our child and family.  They would want to listen, ask questions, they would be real.

Some reactions were hurtful! I had a few people after the initial shock actually turn their concern towards Patrick. No kidding, one comment was, "Well he better get a good lawyer, the state will be out to get him."

Another one went right into rantings of how "The Rojas ways weren't all that great after all, now were they?"

In those moments, I was struck by the fact that the individual in front of me really hadn't heard me. I had just told them I had to call 911 because my child had been sexually molested by Patrick.

The comments I resent the most were the ones where the person would say, "At least that's all he did, it could have been worse."

I wanted to scream, WHAT IS WORSE?" (Any form of sexual abuse is devastating!)

These people just didn't get it! I think this is when I started to shut down inside, to hunker down.

Part of me died inside.

*Partly from the "Reactions" post.

Emergency Meeting

*More from the original "Discovery" post.

I still wonder why we did it this way... I wish we would have called the police immediately. Hindsight, WE SHOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY. We gave the sex offender, his father and the elders time to formulate a plan and reach out for legal counsel.

But instead, Eric and I found a friend's home where our children could go and called an emergency meeting with, our former pastor, Eddie Rojas (whom is the offenders father) his wife, Kathy, Patrick, and one of our elders, Jim Cameron.

In the meeting Patrick admitted to kissing the victim on the lips multiple times while the victim was asleep in their own bedroom. With the note alone and the victims "dream like" minimal memory, charges may not have  been filed on Patrick and we would have never known just how twisted and dangerous he is. But because there were witnesses of  his admission and specifically a "non partial" witness, Jim Cameron, the admission was taken seriously when we reported it to the police. The prosecutor, Kelly Montgomery, reviewed the case and had a "gut feeling" about this one. She took the case on personally. She normally takes on the more high profile cases.

A few other things came out of the meeting that I would like to make mention of....when we read the definition of a pedophile in front of everyone immediately Eddie Rojas reached over his wife and touched Patrick on the leg and stated "one time does not make a pedophile"....and our elder, Jim Cameron, stated that he felt the "world" is too quick to label someone. Jim Cameron felt it was more like "inappropriate affection" rather than something criminal...this was the theme the elders and the Rojas family stuck with.

Another thing that always bugged me and that stuck out was when Eddie stated that he could empathize with Patrick because when Eddie was younger, 22yrs old, he had a crush on a 12yr old girl and wrote her some notes and her parents found them and told him to stop and Eddie said he did.

In the moment I pretty much sat in a chair and cried most of the time. Mrs. Rojas didn't say a word until they were leaving she hugged me and whispered, "I am so sorry it's my son." There was talk about the Rojas's disciplining Patrick and that the elders and Eddie and Patrick would need to meet to figure out what to do. Eddie wanted us to know that he would take this seriously. No mention of calling the police and reporting that a crime had occurred because you know (and I say this sarcastically) it is only "inappropriate affection" and "just a kiss". (That was forced on an 11yr old child that was asleep in their own bed by a 22yr old man.)

Now try to imagine, we were sitting with men we respect, as our pastor and elder. We were in shock and disbelief and being fed that really this wasn't that big of a matter. Definitely one that needed more discussion between Eddie and the elders but nothing beyond that. We were told basically that they would be praying for us and to let them know if we needed anything.

.....more tomorrow.

Thoughts

Why do some people minimize childhood sexual abuse?

I wonder if it because they don't really face it and consider in detail what really happens to a child.

I wonder, is it because they are offenders as well?

I wonder if it because they have other sexual deviant behaviors such as pornography and minimize sexual abuse to minimize their problem.

Do they not consider the instantaneous change that happens to the child that is sexually abused?

Why would any adult even consider keeping secret the abuse of a child?

Why with so many victims/adult survivors in our society are-our laws so lenient?

Why does the Christian community so easily allow these predators back into fellowship without much if any real safe guards for children?

Do you realize YOU ARE THE CHURCH?

This is one area where I see the world's standards are actually higher than the christian community. At least the world considers the crime of childhood sexual abuse/rape severe enough that the predator needs to be labeled and identified by picture and approximation of location and posted for the public. A lot of the church as we have experienced thus far feels the predator needs a chance to groom another victim by keeping their crimes secret all in the name of Jesus and the spirit of forgiveness. Am I the only one that believes that thinking is so not Jesus. The "church" needs to get REAL about this issue and protect the innocent first and for most. I believe that is what should be done in the name of Jesus.

Next to murder, I consider childhood sexual abuse to be one of the worst things in life for a child to endure.

August

The time I have dreaded is here....Patrick will be off his probation this month. He will no longer be under any legal obligation to see a therapist. He will be able to go anywhere he wants. Your local family YMCA, local library, parks. The most obvious place for Patrick to fixate on his next victim is your church. Currently Patrick Rojas still resides in Port Orchard, WA. but will soon be free to live anywhere. Time will tell if he checks in with the sexual predator registry every 6months as the law states. Will Patrick meet up with his family in hiding? Will Patrick disappear as well? Will Patrick victimize another innocent child? Will Patrick ever live in the light? These are the questions that I struggle with.

Dew Family

The Dew family. This family probably came in at a close second for losing the most in this whole ordeal. This family was one of two families that originally started the church we attended. They were one of two families that selected Eddie Rojas to be the pastor of PHFCC. This is the same church where our family was devastated. It was because of our relationship with the Dewhirst family that we started to attend this church. They had so much time, energy, and spiritual warfare poured into this congregation.

When I called them and told them that we had to call the police because Patrick had sexually molested our child, they showed immediate concern for our child and family.

The Dew's attended meeting after meeting-both congregational ones and private ones-trying to appeal to the elders to seek the truth at all costs and to investigate the situation beyond the surface. There were many sleepless nights that they spent in prayer over the situation. They were given specific words to relay to the elders, only to be disregarded. They continued to advocate on behalf of the truth. They advocated for our family to have preference in situations over Patrick, only to be shot down.

As with our family, the Dew's were isolated in many ways. They were seen as divisive for pushing for truth and as gossipers because they called for full disclosure of Patrick's crimes.

Their entire family has lost many long-time, meaningful friendships because they would not stop asking for the truth to come to light. They called a spade a spade and were labeled as bitter, unforgiving and angry for doing so.

This is one family that outwardly fought for the truth to come to light even at the cost of friendships and even at the expense of what they had worked to put together. It was more important to them to get to the truth than to keep the church going. They were the second family to leave the church over the way our situation was being handled by the leadership.

I respect what this family did, but my heart hurts for what they lost. The ripple effect, once again.

Breathe....just breathe

I remember throughout everything that was happening in our family I would have to tell myself.....just breathe....just breathe.

One day I needed to run an errand with one of my children and we were in the fabric store and this song was playing over head, it caught my attention, here are some of the lyrics....

No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Whoa breathe, just breath

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life it belong to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to.....

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
whoa breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe.
*Anna Nalick - Breathe

Now in many of my posts I have mentioned that Kathy Rojas knew of her son, Patrick's, pedophilia behavior. It has been very upsetting over time as I have reflected on some of the interactions between myself and Kathy during this time. The original non emotion at the meeting at our home, with only a whisper of, "I'm sorry it was my son." Followed by a phone call a few nights later after I didn't show up at a women's book study letting me know that she missed me and wanted to know how I was doing. This was within hours of us just receiving a call from a man stating he was Patrick's lawyer who wanted to know the name of the Sheriff's detective who we spoke with.

We discovered what happened to our child on January 04, 2007. January 10, I started to receive cards from Kathy. One thing that struck me at the time was there was never any reference to what happened, they all contained personal messages that had the same theme: she loved me, they all loved us, God is faithful, God is in control, to trust in Jesus, that our family was continually in their prayers, these specific bible references:


Romans 8:28 - And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

1 Peter 5:7 - casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

She sent me the words printed out to, 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus and a lengthy poem written by Renee Rojas......will you trust in Me though the journey is hard? Will you trust in me; Will you give Me your heart?....the basic theme of the poem.

breathe....just breathe.

Kathy never bothers to mention the fact that she knows her son is a pedophile or maybe a little I'm sorry I didn't protect your family and I allowed my son, who is a sexual predator, to stay the night at your home. Or maybe a, my heart is broken for you, I know the agony you are feeling right now. 


She just felt it urgent to tell me to "trust God." 


 Meaning what exactly? 


 Kind of like how they "trusted God" by hiding the truth and by going into hiding?

breathe....just breathe.

Another very long letter I received in April from a woman in the church ended with, "It's not about this trial that your facing, it's about God. He wants you to trust Him in it. I will continue to pray for you and your family to grow in Jesus...." This woman and her husband wrote a letter to the judge on behalf of Patrick. This family continues to attend the church.
breathe....just breathe.

There were other situations where an elder's wife wanted me to attend an annual homeschool planning meeting with Kathy Rojas. This person just could not wrap her mind around the fact that I was unable to be in the same room and act like there wasn't an elephant in the room.
breathe....just breathe.

 There were some other gatherings that various families hosted, such as a musical recital, and they would invite the Rojas family (including Patrick) and our family. The Rojas family would show in force as if all was fine and we would be considered angry and bitter for not attending.
breathe....just breathe.

Because we reported a crime, because we were in mourning, because we set boundaries, because we wanted justice, we were not "trusting God?"

How about this, we "trusted God" to bring to light all that was hidden in darkness! And He did! 

Now we are trusting God to shine a light on the area that Eddie and Kathy Rojas are in hiding!
breathe....just breathe.