If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Plea Bargains

Problem: Criminals are able to plea bargain down their charges.

Even more are able to keep their true crimes under wraps until it's too late to hold them accountable (like in our case.) Massive sexual predators are grossly mismanaged in the legal system. In our case, Patrick didn't divulge the extent of his criminal actions until he was covered, legally speaking, with a plea agreement. He was able to freely describe in detail what he had done and the deviant acts he had been involved in without fear of further prosecution as it pertained to our specific case. This is just not right.

Common reasons for plea bargains vary: It may be a lack of evidence that will stand up against a slick lawyer or trying to avoid the victim testifying in front of the abuser. The biggest reason for a plea agreement seems to be money - or really a lack thereof. The government saves so much time and money if a plea agreement is reached.

There are two reasons I have a huge problem with this especially as it pertains to sex offenders; first,  justice is not served, which re-victimizes the survivor of abuse on a different level. Interpretation of the plea agreement by the victim: I, the child, have just been physically violated and psychologically confused and experienced a soul-changing crime, by no fault of my own. But the state needs to belittle the crime committed against me, so they can save money. The second reason I have a problem with plea agreements for child sexual abuse is that, as a society, we truly won't know the potential dangers of the predators if we plea down. 

Level 1 abusers are supposedly not likely to re-offend. Where do they come up with this? Would you like to take that chance with your child?

The offender in our case, Patrick D. Rojas, is considered a LEVEL 2 Sex Offender (which indicates some expectation of re-offending.) I believe it's just a matter of time and opportunity before Patrick re-offends. I believe this blog lessens his opportunity to have access to children, some. 

There is no way to definitely say that a sexual predator will not re-offend. 

Why do we as a society give them time and time again to do more harm? 

I believe there are more survivors of sexual abuse than there are abusers. We need to join together and demand changes in our laws and in the way these deviants are managed! 

Friday, March 23, 2012

Thank You

Bekah and Michele
I consider this project to be very bitter sweet. The bitter is of course what our family had to endure to discover the need that existed at SAIVS. The sweet is the beauty that was created out of ashes. It has been a very emotional week for me as I have reviewed the before and after pictures of the sexual assault center and created the most recent posts. This project was taken on out of love for our family, knowing it was a desire of mine to change the experience that future victims and their families would have at this facility. Other than knowing it was going on I was totally hands-off and didn't know any details. Due to all the complicated relationship issues I, myself, hadn't even seen the finished building until now via the photographs. I have been flooded with various emotions but I have landed on gratefulness! I am so grateful that this transformation was made a reality! Thank you, thank you, thank you.....

I asked Bekah if she would be willing to write in her own words the reason why she took this project on. I specifically asked her to include details of what was done and the approximate amount of money that the project took to complete and to mention the main people involved in making this possible.

From Rebekah Davidson:
I took on a little piece of a friend's burden. Danielle shared with me the experience of having to take her child to the Kitsap County Sexual Assault Unit. It was depressing, dark and very run down. Not the type of environment to foster a sense of safety or caring for the many families that have to be processed there. Danielle said, "If I ever make it through this ordeal I want to do what I can to make it a more warm, welcoming and safe place for victims and their families." I was a victim of sexual assault as a child. I never told. I felt ashamed like it was my fault. It wasn't until the assault of my dear friend's child that I told of my experience. I'm still not sure why I felt like I could finally talk about it. I felt angry and devastated that this happened to my friend's child, to me and many other thousands of people every year. Taking on just a little piece of my friend's burden was something I could do to work through the pain of her family's experience along with my own. And hopefully make other families more comfortable while having to be at the SAIVS unit. 

Originally, I envisioned I would go in and try to just spruce things up. But on my first visit I saw a much bigger challenge. There were too many things that needed attention. From the dim lighting to the musty smell. Chipped paint and stained carpet and old everything, the place needed a major overhaul! How and where could I even begin? My initial thoughts going in were to have my husband and I tackle it in a weekend or two and try to raise a few thousand dollars to cover the expenses. Long story short the whole unit was like opening Pandora's box! I knew that this was much bigger than what I could achieve alone. I started asking friends and family if they'd be willing to donate their time and resources to help. The response was all positive! As I started to take pictures and make a list of what needed to be done by priority order I realized I needed professional advise. I contacted Michele of Michele Interior's. She had done several remodel projects at my home and I knew she would be a great help. I also contacted my sister-in-law, Donna Moreland. She was invaluable in giving financial advise and directing me to resources that provided grants towards the project. 

Here are a few of the things we were able to improve:
New carpet on the stairs and all upper level offices
New paint on entire interior upper and lower levels 
New paint on exterior 
Landscape overhaul with major clean up of parking areas 
New ceiling tiles to replace broken and stained tiles 
New blinds on all lower windows
Beautiful mural in the childrens waiting room 
New flat panel T.V.'s (dvd player for the children's) adult waiting rooms 
New toys and books for children's waiting room 
Local photographs and art for conference room and adult and general waiting rooms 
New flooring in 4 existing bathrooms 
Changing station for waiting room bathroom 
New furniture for many areas in the lower level 
New lamps to provide a softer more welcoming atmosphere 
New sound proofing and rewiring of victim interview room 
New paint, carpet, wall decor and furniture for victim interview room 
New area rugs and furniture for general waiting room and adult waiting room 
Entire new kitchen including all new cabinets and cork flooring 
New table and chairs, art and lighting for kitchen 
Kitchen supplies to provide snacks etc for meetings with staff and victims and their families waiting for interviews or trial 

The list goes on and on..........we were even able to procure supplies for victims that need food or other necessities on an emergency basis.

The entire project took almost two years from start to finish with details too numerous to list that could have only been accomplished by a host of faithful volunteers and local businesses. Much of the work had to be done at night or on weekends so as not to interfere with the operation of the center and so that victims and their families had the privacy they needed. I am so grateful for the thousands of working hours that so many gave. I'm also grateful for all the funding for this project. All tolled the project totaled just over $100,000.00. A far cry from my original thought of a few thousand dollars!

A burden shared turned into a vision and desire to provide a welcoming, safe place for victims and their families to be able to work through the agony and ugliness of sexual abuse.

My thanks goes to Danielle for sharing her burden with me and that so many were able to participate in a tangible and practical way to show care for her family and many others.

Special mention must be made of:
Josh and Donna Moreland and family, The A.Y. Petter Donor Advised fund, The Seattle Foundation, The Kitsap community Foundation, and several anonymous donors. It couldn't have happened without them!

From Michele of Michele Interiors:
I was approached by a client who became a dear friend about providing some design guidance for a facility that was used to help children who are victims of sexual assault. I was surprised that she would even be aware that a place like SAIVS even existed.  I was probably like a lot of people who didn't even realize how great the need is for places like SAIVS.  When I heard how her life, and the life of her very close friend were affected by a sexual predator, I knew I had to get involved. 

How many of us that count our blessings every day and have nothing like this to puncture our daily lives even give this a second thought in our "safe" community?  Probably very few if any.  The truth is, unless we know someone who's come out with their story or we've been part of one, we all either choose to ignore it's there or are blissfully unaware of it.  Getting involved with SAIVS was my way of helping families start to find an end to their trials. To provide the brave victims and victim advocates with an environment that was uplifting and promised hope and safety.  

It reminded me every day how very blessed I am and how you NEVER know the pain that your friend, neighbor, colleague, acquaintance or stranger that you meet may be suffering.  Because until they are brave enough to come out with their story, no one knows...  and when they ARE brave enough to come out, there is SAIVS.

A Comment from Donna Moreland:
Now I am crying also, Danielle. They are healing tears, for sure. So grateful for your faithfulness. Your friend Bekah did a fantastic job of rallying the troops to get the job done. So many volunteers, dedicating so many hours; so much talent and skill going into the project. What a transformation! Knowing that one out of four women, and one out of eight men have been victims of sexual abuse; not to mention additional victims of violent, physical abuse ... knowing the numbers of good people who have come through the doors at SAIVS ... I praise God for the change that you initiated here in Kitsap county to change the experience of the victim. You have given hope to each person who comes in the door, and additionally to the people who work there. Words can not adequately express how grateful I am to have played a part in the transformation of this facility which serves so many in Kitsap county. Trusting that God will continue to bless and multiply your efforts. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Beauty From Ashes

Special Assault Investigations and Victim's Services - S.A.I.V.S.

From our experience, one thing I wanted to do someday was return to the Special Assault building and give it a face lift. I expressed this desire to a few of my friends early on. One of my friends took this to heart and asked if I minded if she took on the task. Would I mind? I would be delighted! At that time I wasn't in a place myself to take in on. To this day I haven't been able to return to the building to see it in person.

Now you can see for yourself that my description of this place as being  cold and unfriendly is true.

S.A.I.V.S. building before the remodel

Waiting room for children & parents

Waiting room for children & parents 
Conference room

Conference room for attorneys & advocates
Adult waiting room
Kitchen area 

The interview room. Where a specialist interviews and video tapes the child victim when they talk about their experience.

Remodeled S.A.I.V.S. Building

New adult waiting area

New wait area outside offices

New wait area for children & parents
New conference room for meetings
New reception/wait area
New kitchen area stocked with supplies
New Child Interview Room
New Child Interview Room

New Child Interview Room After the Remodel

I cried when I saw the stark difference from the room my child had to enter to this welcoming room. 

Main financial supporters of this project

*My next post will explain why this project was taken on, by whom, along with more of my thoughts.
*Thank you for supplying me with pictures, Michele from Michele Interiors and Bekah.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Patrick Rojas's Sentencing Process

Back to our story.....

The day finally came when Patrick would be sentenced, July 2007.

A few days prior to Patrick's sentencing, our child expressed a desire to attend the hearing. I panicked! But so much of what had gone on was completely out of this child's control. I decided I would at least talk to Eric about it and then called our counselor. This was one opportunity in all of this for this child to control something, even if it was just whether they wanted to attend the hearing or not.

I called the counselor and we had a lengthy conversation. The counselor felt our child was strong enough emotionally to attend the hearing and that it might be a real healing experience. The counselor decided to attend as well in case anything unexpected happened. The sentencing would be the first time our child would see Patrick Rojas since we reported his crimes.

We were ushered into the courthouse by the child advocate. As we exited the elevator, the first thing I saw was Kathy Rojas praying on a bench with someone. I have always wondered what could she possibly been praying (especially since she knew her son was a guilty pedophile.) Would she actually pray for God to keep secret her son's crimes? As we proceeded down the hallway towards the courtroom I saw Patrick Rojas, Eddie Rojas, and the lawyer huddled in the corner. We went into a side room until it was closer to the start of the sentencing. The courtroom was packed. The judge even had people sitting up in the jurors area.

It was at the courthouse when the prosecutor told us there was a last minute request from Patrick's lawyer for a change of judge. Only the defendant can request a change in the judge. Instead of having a judge that regularly presided over similar types of cases, our case was now going before a judge that routinely sat over traffic violations. Unbelievable? Yes.
Judge Daniel Philips was now presiding over our case. He had literally just been handed our case files, which included a 40-page sexual-psycho evaluation that contained very relevant information. To say that Judge W. Daniel Phillips was outrageous is an understatement. I lost any confidence in the court when the judge was suggesting that he would pass sentencing on Patrick without even taking the time to read Patrick's court ordered sexual psycho evaluation. It took a lot of bantering back and forth between lawyers to hold off final sentencing for one week.  

We had been told by the prosecutor to prepare a statement to read to the judge. The prosecutor suggested we have our statement written out, because she has seen too many people freeze up in the moment when they hadn't prepared a written statement and after the fact wished they had remembered to make certain points. We were told that anyone could address the judge and make statements. I asked the prosecutor if we should ask people to make statements on our behalf. She stated it would be good to have the child's grandparents have a statement along with us. The prosecutor didn't want to have a room full of people with prepared statements because some judges don't like that. Eric and I decided to ask my parents and two family friends to have a statement prepared. I told anyone who I knew who was planning to attend the sentencing that anyone was welcomed to address the judge, but that we had specifically asked three different families to speak.

A lot of people from the church were concerned about the fact that they would need to pick a side of the courtroom to sit on. They wanted to appear neutral. They didn't want to take sides. That ended up being a moot point because the courtroom was so full people just had to sit where they could find a seat. This attitude as you probably have picked up from previous post was really upsetting to me.

Grandma and Grandpa McBee stood and made a statement. The Dew's and the LLew's also came with a prepared statement to make. We decided that Eric would be the one to make the statement on behalf of our family, but we stood with him. When we were done the judge asked if anyone else wanted to make a statement and there were two individuals that spontaneously stood to make a statement on behalf of us. One of the women I would like to highlight stood and made a very heartfelt emotional statement from the perspective of and adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Now, we had to return to court to find out if the judge would go along with the plea agreement or overrule it, which ended up being, August 17, 2007.

This final sentencing day in court had a very different feel about it. First, we didn't bring our child, there were less people from the church in attendance, and only Eddie and the older boys showed up in court, no Kathy or older girls. 

It was many peoples observation in the courtroom that this judge was very arrogant in his demeanor and speech. On the day of final sentencing the judge began with a lengthy speech that was somewhat offensive at points. One example is when the judge equated a sexual predator to a shop lifter or a drunk driver. That statement bothered quite a few people that were in attendance that day. It showed a minimization of the crimes Patrick D. Rojas committed. I am convinced that Judge Phillips could not have read the evaluation in it's entirety because he just went along with the plea agreement in place.

The judge was the last hope for some kind of justice in our case. The judge did not have the authority to change the charges against Patrick but he did have the authority to over ride the plea agreement and sentence Patrick to the maximum for what he was charged. The maximum jail time for the gross-misdemeanor Patrick was charged with would have been 1 year in county jail.

If the judge would have read the evaluation he would have discovered that Patrick should have been charged with child molestation in the first degree which is a felony that held an 8 to 25 year sentence range. The evaluation held information proving that Patrick had 5 other minor victims. How could the judge just go with the original plea agreement. The original plea agreement was made with the belief that Patrick had kissed our child on the lips only. 

But the judge should have known otherwise from the information in the evaluation. This process was so upsetting. Unjust! Maddening!

*From the information I gathered Judge W. Daniel Phillips retired in March 2009. 

*This was from numerous posts:
Sentencing, Sentencing (cont.)7/26/09, Sentencing (cont.) 7/27/09 and The Judge

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Another Blow To My Heart

From "Unbelievable" post. 

This week I was contacted and warned that a long-time friend (whom I have not recently been in contact with since I learned her son was a convicted level 1 sex offender) has been regularly having e-mail exchanges with Kathy Rojas. I know in my head people actually support what Eddie and Kathy Rojas are doing, but in no way can I justify their reasoning for the support. To see that someone who has known my family for years and knows our child very well is actively supporting these criminals (remember, there is a felony warrant out on Eddie Rojas) is another blow to my heart.

I could not just let this one go. I made contact with this person. I sent her the post "What Eddie Knew" along with a somewhat short inbox message on facebook that did have a snotty comment in it.

Here is her response: ( I am leaving in her son's name because he is a registered level 1 sex offender)

No, I had no idea. Just sent her my love. Jesus loves her, and so do I. I also love you. Jesus wants healing for all of us. Not hatred, but forgiveness. The comment about the support group was uncalled for. No, we are not. Remember, Zeke confessed all, he and we hid nothing. His offense was minimal and it is over now. We only shared it with close people who could support and pray for us, not those who would gossip. I pray Jesus puts your life back together and makes it better than before. In Joel, He promises to give us back 7 fold of what Satan has stolen!! I believe that for you, because he is doing that for me. God's blessings to you and your family.

I wanted to reply with, "You drank the kool-aid!" Instead, I really thought about my response. I want to share this on my blog because I want the people reading this, that may not grasp the mindset of the people supporting the Rojas family, to have a glimpse inside. It makes me crazy how these individuals twist the word of God to explain their denial of a criminal situation. But if you were to wear too short of a skirt or watch a "questionable movie" these individuals would judge you all the way to hell.

This was my response:

Wow, what Bible are you reading? God is not only a God of love. He is also a God that seeks righteousness, justice, a God of wrath. This same God of love has special scriptures in the Bible set aside for those who hurt his children.

You have never contacted our family to check on our child. Yet you want the Rojas's to know you love them.

When I told you what happened in our family, your very first response was, "They better get a good lawyer. The state will be out to get Patrick." Did it ever occur to you that maybe Patrick committed a crime and deserved a consequence?

Do you not get what taking the Rojas girls in hiding is teaching them? It teaches them it is more important to protect your pedophile brother who molested you over and over-over many, many years. But because he cried and said he was repentant (yet again), Patrick shouldn't face the authorities (the same authorities in the Bible we are told to obey) and accept the consequences for his previous crimes.

This would have also hopefully lead to the girls getting the help and support they need to properly start their healing process. Instead of having a warped twisted view of who God is. Have you considered maybe, just maybe, Eddie and Kathy are in sin/breaking the law. What else are they hiding? It is not gossip to ask questions and use your brain. Yet, you defer to them and want to let them know you love them. Confusing.

I also know that in spite of what happened in our family, God will bring good in our lives. BUT not because of it! There is a huge difference.

You're right. I do not know the details about Zeke. I guess I was someone you felt would gossip and not support you. Whatever!

What I do know is that whatever he did do warranted criminal charges, that Zeke is a registered sex offender, that he had to attend court-ordered therapy and was on probation, that he was not allowed to be alone with his younger siblings. I know that the state has too much to do and doesn't have the time to trump up charges.

Now I hope for the sake of innocent children that Zeke is no longer a danger, but I would not boast that Zeke is not a possible danger to children in the future. There is no cure for a sex offender. Any level of sexual deviant behavior is life-altering. I am offended that you would minimize sexual abuse. Zeke's success in life will require that he never assumes a life of normalcy. He will need accountability and need to be vigilant. Maybe because he is your son, it is easier to walk that line of denial.

Maybe you do live in the light. Does everyone you interact with that have children know that Zeke is a register sex offender?

You admitted yourself that you only told "people that would support you." How is that not hiding? You never told our family. I will say at least you obeyed the probation rules and did not interact with my family. You always had a convenient excuse why we couldn't get together, but not the truth.

I have minor children and one that was victimized by someone that started out just like Zeke and has parents that sound just like you. He confessed, repented, and now lives life as if it never happened. This is selfish thinking that lead to a victim number six (my child).

I just wanted you to know who and what you support, because now you are fully accountable before the Lord.


*I reconsidered deleting this post but still see the value in showing my blog readers how parents of abusers would like to never look back or acknowledge that the sexual deviant person in their life really does need special boundaries to avoid future victims. And I believe as a Christian living in the light in this type of situation is to be honest about the potential danger Zeke poses to children. Zeke is now an adult and has tried to friend myself and two of my children on facebook several times.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Robbed of Innocence

Back to our story...

One of the things that was robbed from my child was learning about the beauty of sexual intimacy in the way God intended. I hadn't even talked with the child that was molested about sexual intimacy or puberty in any detail, yet. This child was so naive to that dimension of life.

My first discussions with this child about sexual intimacy was about a sexual deviant. I had to talk with this child about twisted individuals who do terrible things to children to fulfill disgusting desires. I needed to explain something to the child that they had no frame of reference for. Their first introduction to sexual intimacy was one of darkness.

Nothing can give back the innocence that was stolen by Patrick Rojas. Frankly, his parents, Eddie and Kathy Rojas along with Jairus are also responsible.

Of course I assured my child that they were not responsible in anyway for what had happened. That in no way was this child part of the darkness. Because of the lack of initial understanding this child is highly likely to have a point in their young adulthood of needing to process with a greater understanding what was done to them.

This is only one of the reasons our family can't "just move on" like some people seem to feel we should do. We do move on and then have to deal with something that is directly related and it throws us back, then we need to adjust, deal with whatever and try again to live life........ Denial doesn't change this process, either.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Updated-Psychosexual Evaluation Request Form

I have had some recent inquiries about how to obtain the psychosexual evaluation.  I have an example of how I would suggest the current form be filled out. Link to the pdf - Request For Disclosure of Public Records form. 

If you request this form I would be interested in knowing if you receive a copy. You could leave a comment or personally e-mail me. 

File Number:07-179136-1
Court Case:1791360

Kelly Montgomery Fax number: 1-360-337-7229
Mailing Address:
614 Division St. MS-35
Port Orchard, WA 98366

So Important to Get!

Evil is no faceless stranger,
Living in a distant neighborhood.
Evil has a wholesome, hometown face,
with merry eyes and an open smile.
Evil walks among us, wearing a mask
which looks like all our faces.
~From the book "Counted Sorrows"

To be an effective child molester one has to have a certain charm about them. When caught this charm along with their lie that, "It will never happen again," more often than not convinces others not to report their crimes.

However slight, if you suspect that someone has had sexual contact with your child you need to report it. Let the authorities sort out the facts. In our day and age it is very hard to have actual charges filled against you unless there is adequate evidence. We need to get the pedophiles on the radar screen.

This post was inspired by my mother.

Monday, March 12, 2012


There is often a progression with sexual offenders. Our case was a escalation. Patrick went from victimizing his minor siblings, to adult consensual incest with a sister. He went from peering in on mothers and daughters in their bathrooms and watching hours of pornography to sexual contact with dogs, to victimizing someone outside his family.

Not only did he victimize someone outside of his family, Patrick had the audacity to act on his deviant behavior in a home where the parents and seven other children were sleeping. Very risky. Very arrogant.

Patrick talks in his evaluation about "the thrill of the hunt." Scary.

Maddening is the only word I can think of to adequately describe how it feels to know that supporters of Patrick have purposefully chosen not to read his  psychosexual evaluation. Originally when we got word of the evaluation, we kept it pretty hush hush. People knew Patrick was court-ordered to undergo the evaluation. When word got out that the evaluation was completed, some families pushed for the elders to get a copy from Patrick and read it. The families wanted to be sure that there was no past history of sexual crimes. At first, the elders were adamant that they would not read his evaluation. Jim Cameron had made a statement that he wouldn't want everyone to know about his secret thoughts. Finally, after more pressure, the elders agreed to request that Patrick allow them to read the evaluation, but not until after the sentencing took place. 

In hindsight, that makes sense to me now, in a sick sort of way. Remember that Jim Cameron and Dave Barrueto already knew Patrick had done much more than kiss our child. They didn't need to read the evaluation to find that information out.

The evaluation is not full of Patrick's secret thoughts. It is full of Patrick's crimes and how he went about them and his thought process. It is not fantasy. It is full of actions that Patrick did to innocent minor children, to unaware mothers and daughters, and with animals. The evaluation is full of direct quotes from Patrick detailing his actions and crimes.

After the sentencing, it was possible to fill out a request form to attain a copy of Patrick's psychosexual evaluation. I know of a few families that filled out the form and did receive a copy. Patrick himself has access to a copy. But many families were not interested in the evaluation. It didn't matter to them what was in it. "They are just called to love Patrick." I cannot even pretend to understand this kind of thinking. How can these individuals help Patrick, when they don't even know what they are dealing with? How do they know what behavior to watch for, if they deny there is even a problem?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

John Callahan's Case / No Contact Order

John Callahan is free. Washington State Residents know this face! He is listed as Homeless.

Convicted Snohomish County sex offender gains March 5 release (News Video)

This ruling is absurd! If the man had been locked up on McNeil Island for the past 25 years, when did he have an opportunity to violently sexual abuse a child? Of course he hasn't committed another crime. This makes me crazy! This is a man who has multiple victims who were violently abused. How is Callahn, a man that is considered one of the worst of the worst offenders, able to re-enter our community as a homeless man?

http://everett.komonews.com/feed/rss.xml (News Video)

Our laws need to be revamped. Context needs to be considered. A sexual predator isn't the same as someone who is an embezzler, or is charged with forgery, shop lifting, auto theft, identity theft, computer hacking. I could go on and on with examples of crimes that are committed were a person can be rehabilitated. Why are we letting a person who has shown a history of sexual deviant behavior when left to himself be registered as homeless. This is so scary to me. I can't believe I am the only one who feels this way. I have been told that this man is actually contesting the No Contact Orders that his victims have been rushing to file....my friend called immediately when she heard this because of the similarity to our situation.

Again, Sometimes it's appropriate to swear.....

*August 2009

Today was the day I went to court to request a permanent "no contact order" on behalf of the victimized child in my family. I arrived at the court house and was waiting in the hallway with my dear friend, Deb. Debbie was the first to notice that Patrick had arrived. He was dressed in a suit and tie. We didn't notice his attorney. Frankly, I was surprised to see Patrick. WHY would Patrick need to be in attendance if he wasn't going to contest the No Contact Order?

All the petitioners and defendants were ushered into a court room together. No one other than the petitioner, defendants,and counsel were allowed in the room. Our petition was literally the last one to be called, three hours later. We stepped up, swore in, and Patrick started by stating he had hired an attorney (the same slick Seattle lawyer that defended him from the beginning) and that his lawyer wasn't able to attend because of a conflict and requested a two week temporary extension so Patrick's lawyer could get acquainted with this petition. Patrick also mentioned that his lawyer might not be able to make the next court date as well.

I asked the judge if I should assume this meant Patrick was contesting the petition. The judge stated that I could assume what I wanted but that he supposed this to be true. Patrick stayed silent. I also stated that I had been advised that if Patrick hired an attorney, I was entitled to have a court appointed attorney on behalf of my child. The pro tem judge had to verify what I was asking because the judge hadn't had that request before. While the information was being verified I stood in silence with Patrick about 4 feet away. I couldn't help it.....the tears started to stream down my face. I just kept thinking WHY?.....WHY would Patrick contest our request? It is completely reasonable for us to request a no contact order until our child is an adult.

There are only two reason that I can think of for Patrick to contest this no contact order; to have the ability to contact our child or simply to mess with our family. This order wouldn't put any additional restrictions on Patrick outside of what would apply to our family that he is not already restricted from because of his level 2 sex offender status. The no contact order would give our child a sense of peace and safety. Our child has expressed anxiety that Patrick would try to contact the child.

Are Patrick's actions what you would expect from someone that is remorseful and repentant? Again, I warn you to listen to what Patrick does not what Patrick says!

Why can't I just have this one piece of legal paper that states Patrick can not contact my child? This would give my child a sense of security. Why can't Patrick at the very least give us that without contesting it?

The true division of humanity is between those who live in light and those who live in darkness. Our aim must be to diminish the number of the latter and increase the number of the former. That is why we demand education and knowledge~Victor Hugo
....second attempt at securing the No Contact Order

What can I really say? I went to court today with Eric and our child. Patrick actually showed up again. He is still opposing the no-contact order. Again, Patrick did not have his attorney. We actually have to do this all over again in one week!

I really want to rant and rave on my blog tonight. Can my readers handle my realness? I hate Patrick! His evaluation speaks of narcissistic/sociopath tendencies which are so outwardly being displayed in all of this!

Oh how I wish I could have video taped aspects of today for all the individuals that actually believe Patrick is humble, repentant, and that he is sorrowful for what he has put our family through. When our lawyer approached Patrick to verify that Patrick was indeed contesting the order and to discuss the audacity of such an action. I watched the exchange, which was two pews behind me, Patrick got red faced and stated he had an attorney. Our attorney told Patrick that he had actually called the attorney Patrick named on our last court date on Thursday of this past week and the assistant stated at that time they were not taking Patrick's case. Patrick was indignant that he did have an attorney that just couldn't be at the court today.

Our attorney arranged for our case to be heard early on. We were the third case to be called. Patrick and our attorney did some back and forth with the judge while myself and child stood there. This resulted in our case being recessed so Patrick could call his attorney and nail down a date he could attend court within the next two weeks (per the statute) Patrick stepped into the hall and made his call. Patrick's attorney will be available on the 21st so our case is held over yet again! My child will have to miss part of their home school co-op classes once again. My child will have to face their abuser once again. Even knowing that the child still wants to pursue the No Contact order.

Our attorney stated to us this is a slam dunk case and in all his years he has never made such a bold statement. Our attorney can not think of one reason why Patrick would contest this order. I know that my opinion is considered bias but Patrick is clearly just trying to mess with our family. Patrick likes the thrill that this brings. Patrick likes the control he thinks he has over this matter. I know people think it and I hate to say it but Patrick probably wanted to get a look at our child. I hate Patrick! It's real. It's raw. It's appropriate!

The only good that came from the matter today, per our attorneys request, the judge ordered Patrick to pay a $250.00 fine to the YWCA organization for the inconvenience Patrick is causing our lawyer.

......Finally Success, third court appearance

We arrived at the courthouse to be greeted by our attorney. Our attorney started apologizing to us because we had pulled our child out of home school co-op and that we had made the trip down. Our attorney stated he heard from Patrick's attorney today and that Patrick was no longer going to contest the no-contact order. At 11:50am today our attorney received a faxed copy of the no-contact order with Patrick's signature. Remember Patrick's attorney is in Seattle. We were due in court at 1pm. This may seem like I am splitting hairs here. That I should just take it and run but before anyone gets too excited over Patrick doing a turn about on the no-contact order and thinking he had a "Jesus" moment or something I want you to think about it....

Patrick dragged this on as long as he possibly could. It is highly likely that when face to face with his attorney, Patrick was advised he was wasting his money and had no merit to contest the no-contact order we were requesting. That Patrick could spin this to his benefit by signing the order and backing off. Patrick's attorney conveyed to ours how devastated Patrick was for what he had done to our child for the devastating betrayal against our family. Listen to what Patrick does not what he says. If the statement from Patrick's attorney is sincere then why did Patrick ever contest the no-contact order? I am not sure but the red faced angry Patrick from last week that was stating very firmly before the judge, "that he (Patrick) had the right to counsel," and to request a recess to call his lawyer so he could nail a date...to today, where he expresses remorse and wants to sign the no-contact order. Confusing but we will take it. Patrick's attorney also conveyed Patrick's willingness to pay restitution....As of 2012 we haven't seen a dime.

I am thankful my child didn't have to face Patrick again. I am thankful that my child didn't have to go before the judge again and make any statements. I am thankful that I have a no-contact order in place. But all that is within me knows this was a strategic move made by Patrick because he finally faced the fact he was fighting a losing battle! I will take the win! But I caution my readers not to read too much into all of this. I know that there are people out there pulling for Patrick. I want Patrick to be miraculously healed as well for the safety of young children. I just don't want to be naive! I don't want my readers to be naive as well.

Patrick didn't really give us anything today. He conceded to what we knew we were already getting.

When Patrick names his 5 additional victims and accepts the consequences for those crimes, then and only then will I consider that a heart and mind change may have taken place within Patrick.

*From "WTF," "What Can I Say," and "Not Without Manipulation," Posts.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Red Flags In Hindsight

I have to remind myself regularly everything is easier to see in hindsight. I understand that a good pedophile goes undetected because they groom the entire family and are usually patient. Knowing that doesn't ease the pain or the guilt I feel. I was sensitive to this issue and even I was fooled. THAT IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO GET.

With that said, it would seem we are all so vulnerable. Our children especially.

The church we were attending was almost exclusively all homeschooling families. It promoted the inter-generational interaction which homeschooling promotes, so the fact that Patrick interacted well with children made perfect sense. The fact that being a mentor and an example is expected of the young adults, so the tutoring and interaction with our one child seemed ideal. Patrick came from a family that did things as a whole family as much as possible. That is also how the church liked to plan most church gatherings.

The fact that Patrick was at our home regularly during this time period made sense as well. We had moved. We were overwhelmed with a newborn, 5 other children, and all that needed to be done in this new home which needed a lot of attention. Our church promoted (as all should) knowing the needs and helping those in need in the congregation. Patrick had time and was happy to help. He called regularly. He helped Eric set up our computer (Patrick is a whiz on the computer.) During this time, Patrick learned our password to our computer by watching Eric over his shoulder (unbeknownst to us.) He would bring us kindling because we were heating strictly with a wood stove. He was tutoring one of our children. He was leaving seemingly innocent notes to another child that said things like, "Smile Jesus Loves You." He was either bringing candy to all the children or sometimes only to one of them. At Christmas time, Patrick knew our family was financially struggling, so he hid presents under our tree for all the children. He rallied his family to gift us money to buy a Christmas tree.

Can you see how the Christian community and values are a playground for a pedophile? If this type of behavior was from a non-Christian, I like to believe I would have been suspicious. Instead, I saw the behavior as selfless, which our church strongly believed was central to living out the gospel of Christ.

Another thing to look for is if an adult prefers to be around children over adults in gatherings  or doesn't have peer relationships with the opposite sex. The problem with the ladder one in our case was the belief that "worldly dating" was wrong. Young adults in the Rojas family in particular were not allowed to casually date. They followed a "courtship" like belief. All aspects of their lives were very controlled by Eddie all in the name of biblical living.

Where Patrick doesn't fit the stereo-typical profile of a pedophile is that Patrick stated in his evaluation that he himself was not molested. It is more common for boys who are molested as children to grow up and have pedophilia behavior, if left untreated and monitored. This leaves me to wonder if the behavior was learned. Or was Patrick just born evil?

*Patrick's Profile" Post.

Character Reference Letters

If you remember, I have referred to -letters of character reference- that a variety of family members, church members, and some church leaders in our community wrote on behalf of Patrick. These were written to say what a great guy Patrick was and what an asset to our community he was and that it would be a waste for him to serve real time in prison for just a moment of poor judgment. These letters boasted that Patrick was repentant. The people who wrote the letters claimed to have already seen a change for the better in Patrick.

There was an Eagle Scout who claimed to be an excellent judge of character. He eloquently stated his personal relationship with Patrick. He wrote a very persuasive letter to the judge requesting that leniency be extended to Patrick. There was also a leader from the Heritage Homeschool Organization that wrote a letter on behalf of Patrick using the organization's letterhead and signing with his official title. I could go on and on.
None of these people ever contacted us to verify information they were selectively given by the Rojas family and the leaders of PHF. Nor did they bother to contact the prosecutor or detective involved in our case. One thing that I still don't understand to this day is that, for some reason, Patrick and his lawyer requested that the contents of the letters be sealed. We were able to read each individual letter in the prosecutors office, but haven't been able to attain actual copies because they aren't in the public file.

People would argue that these individuals made a simple judgment error in writing these letters. Fine. But that doesn't take away the consequences of their errors. After the deceit of the Rojas family was revealed and after Patrick was shown to be deviant and dangerous, only one individual felt compelled to write a retraction and send it to the courts. Out of 30+ letters, only one wrote a retraction. Patrick David Rojas, a convicted level-two sex offender who admitted to having sexual interaction with animals, who admitted to peeping in on mothers and daughters in bathrooms, and who admitted to other victims including a baby.

This has always bothered me!

What I hope you will learn from this is to be very careful of you will vouch for. Especially, when pleading for leniency for a crime committed. The letters do influence the judge. Ask questions. Contact the detective involved in the case. Download the public legal documents and read exactly what the person is being charged with. You can learn a lot sometimes just by reading the charging documents. Certain crimes, in order to be committed successfully, take deceiving others around the criminal. Don't be fooled into supporting a sexual predator.   

*From "This Has Always Bothered Me" post.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Special Assault Unit

We received the phone call to set up the date for our child to be interviewed by the specialist. In Kitsap county a child that has been sexually victimized never has to talk to an actual sheriff detective. They are instead interviewed by someone with specialized training in this area. Eric and I took our child to this appointment. We knew ahead of time that we were not going to be allowed in the interview room. This was a huge deal to me. This rule, although I understand why it is in place, almost caused me not to proceed in officially reporting the crime. The child enters  a room with the specialist and is audio and video recorded by a stranger.

Meanwhile, Eric and I sat in a small room where there were few toys, a chalk board, a small kid table, and a specially built play-toy in the corner. The room was depressing, the building was run down and full of clutter in the hallway. Everything about the place felt yucky. And this was where we were at to get help. Any victim of sexual abuse in the 
Kitsap area had to come to this particular building to start the legal process. The appearance of the building did not bring on emotions of confidence or importance. Quite the opposite!

When you have a child that has been victimized they are given an advocate that is suppose to explain the process to you and help you make contacts that you might need to make. Our advocate was nice enough but right off when we briefly told her what we knew about our case at that time, the advocate stated that no charges would probably be filed because of the limited information. This was discouraging to say the least.

The detective involved in our case had made a similar statement. He had said although this guy (Patrick) was clearly a predator he didn't have much to go on and not to expect charges to be filed by the prosecutor. It was very frustrating to hear this from the people that were supposed to be on the side of justice. Clearly a crime had been committed. Why was it so hard to bring about justice?  They live the life of injustice day in and day out. Many, many cases similar to ours don't get prosecuted and that is both unjust and scary to me!

From "The Center" post.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Change of Plea

Prior to this court date Patrick's attorney entered a plea of "Not Guilty."

This was a change of plea hearing. It was at this time, when Patrick was to enter a plea of guilty as part of his plea agreement. This is when he was ordered to take the sexual-psycho evaluation along with some other temporary conditions.

It was uncomfortably small. Patrick's father, Eddie Rojas, and Patrick's brothers, Jairus, Benjamin, and David, were sitting in the back row. Patrick was in the front. We were in the middle. We were so close I could have whispered to Patrick and he would have heard me. He sat stoic. I wanted to yell at him. I just sat. I remember feeling weak. Only the beginning of the courtroom madness...

One of the things that the prosecutor did well was remain sensitive to the fact that seeing Patrick for the first time since our original meeting was going to be very emotional. The prosecutor invited us to enter the courtroom with her. The room was not how you would imagine it to be. When we entered the door, we were a few feet away from the middle row of pews (best way to describe them.) We entered from the side,the pews ended at the wall. There was enough room for six people to comfortably sit in a row and there were about six rows. Facing us was a jury box, a desk for the attorneys, a bench along the wall and the judge's desk.

When it was all over we continued to sit in the room because we didn't want to interact with Patrick or his family. We were waiting for an "All Clear" before we left. As we sat, stunned, numb, in disbelief that we were in the company of all these wife beaters and drunk drivers, and in this situation in general Patrick's attorney appeared and approached us. He wanted to know if we were still going to attend church at PHF. I knew immediately why he was asking. He knew we hadn't been attending, but hadn't officially left the church. One of the court conditions was that Patrick couldn't attend the same church we were attending. Mind you, this was well before we had even considered really leaving the church. I looked at the attorney and said, "We aren't sure." He went on to elaborate that if we weren't going to attend then Patrick would be able to attend the church. I said, "I know what you are getting at and we don't know what we are doing!" The attorney slithered away. Later we found out that the prosecutor specifically told Patrick's attorney not to talk to us. Shows you what a stand up attorney this man was.

*From "First Court Appearance"

They Wouldn't Fight For Us

Another circumstance that caused a little something in me to die or shut off. I do not think I could have survived anymore pain at the time. Soul-gripping pain. True heartbreak! This is why we are not friends anymore and why I am sad about it.

It does effect me and others in my family if you have ongoing relationships with certain people. I know you fellowship with them. My kids know you have relationships with them. How can you continue in friendship with these families and yet say you want to support our family? Very confusing! It's a passive way to avoid picking a clear side and standing for something.

I had desperately wished that someone would stand up and call what was wrong-wrong. Instead, we once again get represented as angry and bitter. Why? Because your actions effect me, am I considered angry and bitter? Imagine you are having a birthday party. You invite me along with someone who, let's say for the sake of my analogy, wrote a letter on behalf of Patrick and maybe in the last six months has been communicating with individuals in the Rojas family. How am I suppose to feel towards this person? What exactly is the Godly response? How is it that these people have no shame? I believe out of insensitivity or not wanting to stand up for our family you just invite both of us and hope we play nice. So, it puts it on me, I have to call ahead and ask who is attending and try and gracefully decline the invitation to protect my family.

These were the passive ways our family was isolated. The person having the party was able to feel good about themselves because they invited us and it was sad we couldn't attend but the party must go on, right? Over and over this type of scenario occurred. When you have been hurt by a group of people in the way our family has been, you have to be a glutton for punishment or living in denial to want to purposefully interact in social settings with the main players.

Anyone who wrote a letter in support of Patrick is a main player. Anyone who still attended the church after the meeting where the elders admitted keeping secret the details of Patrick's sexual abuse of our child is a main player. Anyone who is currently in contact with any Rojas family member in any way other than asking the adult ones to turn their father in is a main player. Anyone who is in fellowship with the Cameron family or Barrueto family is a main player. Anyone who is supporting Patrick is a main player. Why would we want to interact with anyone of these people? Boundaries!

Some of the individuals who fall in one or more of the above categories have hurt us deeper than others because of the level of the relationship between our families and children prior to the crime. I could care less about the fact that some of the individuals are no longer in my life. A few sat on the fence and helped us in many ways, along the way, but when push came to shove they didn't stand up on our behalf. These relationships have been the hardest to lose.

I am deeply grieved about the loss of these friendships, but even with time and therapy I can't get past the disappointment and the fact that they continue to be connected with others in the main player category. I get that these people didn't want to lose their network of friends, but that meant they were willing to lose me as their friend. We were the victims, completely innocent of wrongdoing, and yet we were the ones people wouldn't fight for. They would fight for the elder's and defend their inability to do what was right. Some would even defend Eddie and Kathy and Patrick. But they wouldn't fight for us.

*Post from "Of Course It Matters."

Monday, March 5, 2012

Patrick Is Repentant - It's All Good Now

By this point, Eric and I and two of our children were in therapy. It's a good thing! It was great for both Eric and I to be able to go to someone not connected in any way so that we could sort through our emotions and sort through how we interpreted others actions. Expensive but necessary! This was a vital part of the road to recovery and healing. Recovery from cult-like thinking and healing from all the betrayals.

When we arrived home from the Heritage Home Educators of Washington Conference, we made some phone calls and asked for a meeting with the elders, the Rojas's , and some other couples. We wanted them to see first-hand how we were being treated. (Another weird thing in all of this was that if someone didn't hear or see something first hand, it wasn't to be fully believed. It was considered gossip. Another example of control.) This meeting was held at a neutral home.

After we left the meeting, Eric and I were almost certain we were done with the church. In no way were they concerned for our victimized child or sensitive to us as the parents. We felt like the others in the room were able to see the elders and their demeanor and attitudes toward us. They were able to witness Eddie and his tirade about the non biblical therapy Patrick was having to sit through and the Bible study he was responding so well to. The only apology we received was from an oppressed Kathy Rojas who said," If she would have known we were attending the conference they wouldn't have had Patrick attend with their family." I wanted to say,"Whatever, you know we go every year!" I was told from a third-party, Kathy knew we were attending . Eddie quickly redirected the conversation. At that point I had stopped listening.

Everything ended with the basic sentiments that Dave and Jim were doing the "best they could" (this was a regular statement made in defense of the elders) and now finally understood that they needed to be more sensitive and over-communicate with us regarding Patrick. It was specifically mentioned that Patrick wouldn't just show up anywhere we might be. That one of the elders would notify Eric if Patrick would be at a gathering or meeting we would possibly be at. Remember this is a fairly small church and everyone is intertwined with each other. Some in the room felt like it was a positive meeting. As if all the previous passive preferences for Patrick by the elders and Eddie (the pastor) were a huge misunderstanding and it was all cleared up now.

On the other hand, Eric and I had the sense that the elders and the Rojas's didn't get any of it. They didn't want to even consider the fact that Patrick was a predator, even though the Rojas's secretly knew he had other victims. They didn't want to admit that he was even a threat, even though the elders knew the full details of what he had done to our child. (The actual details would make you physically sick to know them.) They found it hard to grasp that we didn't even want to visually see Patrick, even if it was only from across a room full of people. They didn't understand why we couldn't just all gather together and worship God and act as if things were fine, because you know, Patrick was repentant, so it was all suppose to be good now. 

*From "Another Meeting"