If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Friday, July 31, 2009

The Judge

Talk about someone being the poster judge for the legal system being backwards and flawed.

To say that Judge W. Daniel Phillips was outrageous is an understatement. I lost any confidence in the court when the judge was suggesting that he would pass sentencing on Patrick without even taking the time to read Patrick's court ordered sexual psycho evaluation. It took a lot of bantering back and forth between lawyers to hold off final sentencing for one week. It was many peoples observation in the courtroom that this judge was very arrogant in his demeanor and speech.

On the day of final sentencing the judge began with a lengthy speech that was somewhat offensive at points. One example is when the judge equated a sexual predator to a shop lifter or a drunk driver. That statement bothered quite a few people that were in attendance that day. It showed a minimization of the crimes Patrick D. Rojas committed. I am convinced that Judge Phillips could not have read the evaluation because he just went along with the plea agreement in place.

The judge was the last hope for some kind of justice in our case. The judge did not have the authority to change the charges against Patrick but he did have the authority to over ride the plea agreement and sentence Patrick to the maximum for what he was charged. The maximum jail time for the gross-misdemeanor Patrick was charged with would have been 1 year in county jail.

If the judge would have read the evaluation he would have discovered that Patrick should have been charged with child molestation in the first degree which is a felony that held an 8 to 25 year sentence range. The evaluation held information proving that Patrick had 5 other minor victims. How could the judge just go with the original plea agreement. The original plea agreement was made with the belief that Patrick had kissed our child on the lips only. But the judge should have known otherwise from the information in the evaluation. This process was so upsetting. Unjust! Maddening!

From the information I gathered Judge W. Daniel Phillips retired in March 2009.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Web

My immediate and extended family, my friends, the acquaintances in my life are all effected by what Eddie Rojas, Kathy Rojas, Jairus Rojas, Patrick Rojas, Jim Cameron, and Dave Barrueto chose to do and what they chose to hide.

The sticky web that was woven by all the deceit of these individuals.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Speaking Out

I had no idea that my friend had been victimized when she was a child. I knew she had some issues she was working through, but I thought it was related to her relationship with her ex-husband. It was such a huge deal for her to stand up in open court and make a public statement about her childhood sexual abuse and the lifelong effects abuse has on someone. Her statement was very moving. Afterward, I was told by the victim advocate that my friends statement was the best one. That it was very moving. It was a personal victory for my friend to talk about her abuse openly.

Since her child was friends with my own kids--who had just heard her story, she now needed to go home and tell her teenager that she was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Not an easy thing to do.
Her support of our family forced her to look at her past abuse more intensely.

The consequences from what Patrick did to our child are so far reaching. The best analogy that I've heard is that the effects of his crimes are like a spider's web. The effects are so interwoven and sticky that they are seemingly impossible to escape.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Sentencing (continuation)

We had been told by the prosecutor to prepare a statement to read to the judge. The prosecutor suggested we have our statement written out, because she has seen too many people freeze up in the moment when they hadn't prepared a written statement and after the fact wished they had remembered to make certain points. We were told that anyone could address the judge and make statements. I asked the prosecutor if we should ask people to make statements on our behalf. She stated it would be good to have the child's grandparents have a statement along with us. The prosecutor didn't want to have a room full of people with prepared statements because some judges don't like that. Eric and I decided to ask my parents and two family friends to have a statement prepared. I told anyone who I knew who was planning to attend the sentencing that anyone was welcomed to address the judge, but that we had specifically asked three different families to speak.

A lot of people from the church were concerned about the fact that they would need to pick a side of the courtroom to sit on. They wanted to appear neutral. They didn't want to take sides. That ended up being a moot point because the courtroom was so full people just had to sit where they could find a seat. This attitude as you probably have picked up from previous post was really upsetting to me.

Grandma and Grandpa McBee stood and made a statement. The Dew's and the LLew's also came with a prepared statement to make. We decided that Eric would be the one to make the statement on behalf of our family, but we stood with him. When we were done the judge asked if anyone else wanted to make a statement and there were two individuals that spontaneously stood to make a statement on behalf of us. One of the women I would like to highlight stood and made a very heartfelt emotional statement from the perspective of and adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

To be continued.....

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sentencing (continued)

We were ushered into the courthouse by the advocate. As we exited the elevator, the first thing I saw was Kathy Rojas praying with someone. I have always wondered what could she possibly been praying (especially since she knew her son was a guilty pedophile.) Would she actually pray for God to keep secret her son's crimes? As we proceeded down the hallway towards the courtroom I saw Patrick Rojas, Eddie Rojas, and the lawyer huddled in the corner. We went into a side room until it was closer to the start of the sentencing. The courtroom was packed. The judge even had people sitting up in the jurors area.

It was at the courthouse when the prosecutor told us there was a last minute request from Patrick's lawyer for a change of judge. Only the defendant can request a change in the judge. Instead of having a judge that regularly presided over similar types of cases, our case was now going before a judge that routinely sat over traffic violations. Unbelievable? Yes.

Judge Daniel Philips was now presiding over our case. He had literally just been handed our case files, which included a 40-page sexual-psycho evaluation that contained very relevant information. I started to panic a little when the judge stated he would take a 15-minute recess and read the evaluation and then sentence Patrick. After some back and forth between the prosecutor and the defense attorney the judge decided he would listen to the victim statements and reschedule the sentencing for the following week so he could review the evaluation.

To be continued......

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Back to our story.....The day finally came when Patrick would be sentenced, July 2007.

A few days prior to Patrick's sentencing, our child expressed a desire to attend the hearing. I panicked! But so much of what had gone on was completely out of this child's control. I decided I would at least talk to Eric about it and then called the counselor. This was one opportunity in all of this for this child to control something, even if it was just whether they wanted to attend the hearing or not.

I called the counselor and we had a lengthy conversation. The counselor felt our child was strong enough emotionally to attend the hearing and that it might be a real healing experience. The counselor decided to attend as well in case anything unexpected happened. The sentencing would be the first time our child would see Patrick Rojas since we reported his crimes.

To be continued.....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

No Contact

When Patrick Rojas gets off probation in August, he will no longer have any legal obligation to obey the court-ordered sentencing conditions he was given by the judge. One of the conditions that would personally affect our family is the no-contact order. Currently, Patrick isn't allowed to contact anyone in our family in any way. That order will no longer be in place once he is off probation.

I am currently in the process of finding out how to extend the no-contact order. This means I have to send e-mails, make phone calls, and fill out lots of paperwork. I am hoping I will be able to do this without the expense of a lawyer. I really don't want Patrick to have the freedom to contact any one of us for any reason at all. One would think that none of the Rojas' would contact us, but what seems like common sense to some doesn't to others. A no-contact order is the only assurance I have that we won't be contacted by Patrick.

This is one of the practical things I have to deal with that I do not want to deal with. One in a million reasons I cannot just let all of this go and leave it behind me.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


This post is specifically a shout out to the people in Missouri.

In the last few weeks this blog has received a lot of hits (views) from different parts of Missouri, including Rolla, Missouri. Rolla is where Kathy Rojas has quite a few family members. Rolla is also an area where although it wouldn't be the wisest place to hide the Rojas' would have family to help support them.

If you are viewing this blog from Missouri and have information about Eddie Rojas and his whereabouts please contact your local police and let them know you have information about a wanted felon.

If you have questions and want to clarify information I have posted please e-mail me @ totallycracker@nventure.com

If you are in fellowship with any of Kathy Rojas's family living in Missouri please make sure and send them the link to this blog. The family name of the relatives in Missouri is Perona.

For the truth and light to shine, there only needs to be one tiny crack in the Rojas' facade.

Monday, July 20, 2009


"So I will choose their punishments And will bring on them what they dread. Because I called, but no one answered; I spoke, but they did not listen. And they did evil in My sight And chose that in which I did not delight." - Isaiah 66:4 (New American Standard Version)

I really hope I am able to see justice come to pass in regards to Patrick Rojas. Justice to me would be very simple in his case. Justice would equal prison. The wimpy little 10-day stay and five-day stays in county jail don't even really count in my eyes. I am at least glad he went behind some kind of bars. Patrick needs to be properly labeled and charged and convicted. I know my hope is more like a pipe dream. With his sisters in hiding, he will be off probation in less than a month's time and then he will probably fade into the fabric of society soon after. I am not sure my hope will come to pass.

I do have real hope that Eddie Rojas will experience some justice for what he has created and done. I do not expect the justice to be equal to the crimes he has committed in my eyes, but I do hope for some tangible consequences. His network of support just needs one small crack in it for the process of justice to begin.

Unfortunately, I do not believe or even have any real hope that some of the other guilty people (Jim Cameron, Dave Barrueto, Jairus Rojas, Kathy Rojas) that have played significant roles in hiding Eddie Rojas and protecting Patrick Rojas will be brought to justice. I have to look to God alone for that situation.

I know that regardless of whether justice occurs with any of the above individuals, without true remorse and repentance, Gods' wrath will apply to all. I do count on that, but would consider it Gods' gift to me if I could actually see some justice with my own eyes here on earth.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


You know who your true friends are in a crisis. I would like to take this a little further, You also know who the real people of integrity are in a crisis. It is relatively easy to be a Christian in a small church where people are very like-minded--or so you think.

In everything that we have gone through, it has been so disheartening for me to discover that some of the people I loved and respected would not commit to taking a side in this matter. Even though I think they were wrong, I must say I respect the people who chose the Rojas' side more than I respect the people that tried to stay neutral, even after it was clear criminal and immoral behavior had occurred by multiple parties.

It is impossible to stay neutral in this type of situation. I have a quote from Bishop Desmond Tutu on my Facebook page: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." I believe this quote with all my heart.

I am so thankful that the Dewhirst family didn't try to stay neutral. They fought for justice. They actually are still fighting in many ways for justice in our case. I know that the Rojas girls are especially on their hearts. Eddie Rojas must be located!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Have Something To Hide

Once again....a complaint was sent to blogger about a photo on my site. Unless this is your first visit to the blog you will notice the Rojas's family picture and the individual picture of Kathy Rojas has been removed. I obtained those photos from a CD given to everyone in the church prior to the discovery of Patrick D. Rojas being a pedophile. Prior to knowing that his parents, Eddie Rojas and Kathy Rojas, had been hiding the fact that their son was a pedophile. Also, prior to being aware that the eldest brother, Jairus Rojas, knew his brother was a sexual predator and now we even have reason to believe Jairus himself is a pedophile.

I hope this means the site is making a difference. It does mean to me that the Rojas's have something to hide.

Anyone reading this that has a photo of any one of the adults in the Rojas family that they personally took, if you e-mail it to me I can use it for the site. Pictures are important. Images help people put the name and faces together. I have been told that the Rojas's that are in hiding are not using their real names. It is important that people have a face not just a name.

They may have won this fight but they have not won the battle! I am not discouraged....just irritated!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Dew Family

The Dew family. This family probably came in at a close second for losing the most in this whole ordeal. This family was one of two families that originally started the church we attended. They were one of two families that selected Eddie Rojas to be the pastor of PHFCC. This is the same church where our family was devastated. It was because of our relationship with the Dewhirst family that we started to attend this church. They had so much time, energy, and spiritual warfare poured into this congregation.

When I called them and told them that we had to call the police because Patrick had sexually molested our child, they showed immediate concern for our child and family.

The Dew's attended meeting after meeting-both congregational ones and private ones-trying to appeal to the elders to seek the truth at all costs and to investigate the situation beyond the surface. There were many sleepless nights that they spent in prayer over the situation. They were given specific words to relay to the elders, only to be disregarded. They continued to advocate on behalf of the truth. They advocated for our family to have preference in situations over Patrick, only to be shot down.

As with our family, the Dew's were isolated in many ways. They were seen as divisive for pushing for truth and as gossipers because they called for full disclosure of Patrick's crimes.

Their entire family has lost many long-time, meaningful friendships because they would not stop asking for the truth to come to light. They called a spade a spade and were labeled as bitter, unforgiving and angry for doing so.

This is one family that outwardly fought for the truth to come to light even at the cost of friendships and even at the expense of what they had worked to put together. It was more important to them to get to the truth than to keep the church going. They were the second family to leave the church over the way our situation was being handled by the leadership.

I respect what this family did, but my heart hurts for what they lost. The ripple effect, once again.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


I wish when another believer discovers that I do not attend a church currently because of "something bad that happened to our family," their response would be different than it almost always is. Lots of people go right to some of the familiar ones, "man failed you not God, you need to be in fellowship at a church" or "Churches are hospitals, we are all sinners" or "The person tries to sale their church as the safe one to attend" or "You can't experience God the same way outside of the church."

What I wish a fellow christian would ask me when they find out I don't attend a church because of a past hurt, would be, "do you have support from other believers around you?" I wish that would be a persons concern. Maybe even ask me, how my relationship with God is, right now.

Because really how does a church help someone?

To attend a new church we would need to build relationships which would require us to trust individuals. Remember it was through our former pastor Eddie Rojas, his son Patrick, and the elders, Jim Cameron and Dave Barrueto, that our family was devastated. It was also a very large number of the congregation (our friends) that supported the leadership, even to the point of defending their betrayal. I'm thinking maybe a pastor nor the leadership in a church would be who I would trust anytime soon.

My personal relationship with God really has nothing to do with a church.

I do have people that are believers that are loving me through this time in my life. I have no idea how long I will not be attending church but really that seems like such a minor detail in the scheme of my life.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


It still amazes me when I meet someone and the conversation leads to the question, "What church do you go to?" I hate how I feel like I need to justify why I don't attend church. I am usually vague but I do feel like I will be poorly judged because I do not have a church that I go to. I feel like our story isn't straight forward and can't quickly be explained.

Although we discovered the abuse in January 2007 new information has continued to be brought to light up until this year, when we discovered Patrick had broken probation conditions and served an additional 5days.

I know some are of the opinion that I should be further along in my healing process. When I consider it is almost 2yrs since the sentencing, I wish I were further along. What I do know is that I am further along then I was 6months ago and 6months ago I was further along than the previous 6months.

Remember the healing process takes more time for some and less for others. There is no time line for the healing process. Really let this sink in, it takes more time for some and less for others. Just allow me the time to heal and trust I am in the process.

Monday, July 6, 2009


If ever you are a victim of a crime, remember to document any and everything!!!

I could have done a better job at documenting more conversations. But I did get a three-ring binder and dividers to keep track of all the legal documents and counseling information. 

I would document most conversations after I would get off the phone. I kept almost every letter or card I was sent in regards to the situation. I now have three 3" ring binders that hold information that pertains to what we have gone through. I don't even know why I originally started to do this, except that I wanted to remember certain things in case I was called upon later to recall a conversation

Then I realized keeping everything was going to be helpful in the future for my children for different reasons. As a child, I am sure there is a certain perception of what has gone on. Especially given the different ages of my children and how involved they were in the  situation. I believe it will be good one day for whichever child is interested, not just to have my memories and version of everything, but to have documentation from the courts, letters from individuals, and this blog that is documenting a lot of what we have gone through in the physical and emotional realm. I make a copy of almost any comment or encouraging word I receive.

For my child that is the direct survivor of the sexual abuse, I do believe it will help to have all of this information to confirm memories or clarify childhood perceptions.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Getting Information

It was so hard to get information regarding our case, regarding Patrick's sentencing conditions, regarding Patrick's violations, regarding access to what should be public records. The phone calls for me were the hardest. Finding the time when all my children were quiet and able to manage things without me, mustering the emotions to deal with the conversation, creating a list of difficult questions only to be forced to leave a message. Then waiting for the return call from the prosecutor or the detective or the probation officer. Return calls, when they come at all, tend to come at the most inopportune times.

We would be told about a court date. We would plan for it. Eric would request time off work and I would arrange childcare. Then we would find out, the day before or the day of, that there was a postponement for one reason or another.

We could never know what the prosecutor's plans for the case were, because she didn't want to give away her plan in case we told the wrong person, giving Patrick's defense a chance to prepare. This also meant we had little say in how hard the courts went after Patrick.

I had to learn that the probation officer couldn't just give me information, because Patrick was her client. But if I asked the right questions, she could answer them, because I was the victims mother. It was like some kind of sick game of riddles.

I had to learn how to properly state the reasons why I wanted certain court records in order not to be denied. I would be denied a certain request only to re-apply with a different reason and then receive the documentation. I still haven't received all that I have requested, even though none of the documents have been officially sealed. There is so much red tape and the process to cut through it gets so tiresome.
I completely understand why people don't pursue information regarding their cases. The court system makes it so hard and seems structured in a way that helps no one but the lawyers.

When I seem to be at the end of what I think I can handle, I am usually motivated by someone or some action of Patrick's or the Rojas's to keep fighting this fight. I continue to keep reminding the prosecutor we are still out here and worried about Patrick victimizing another innocent child. I tell them that we want Eddie found so his minor daughters can be helped. I remind them not to give up on our behalf.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Inside Me

I get tired of this being a part of my life. Not this blog per se. Because of what happened, the blog is a necessity. I think, in a lot of ways, I have come to terms with the fact that what happened to our child and family did happen. Because of my acceptance it is easier to allow everything in my life to change. What I mean is inside of me there have been some paradigm shifts in my thinking. It is hard not to be certain of the things I once was. It is hard to re-evaluate everything in life. Which includes my relationship with Christ and the church.

I fought the reality of it for awhile. I didn't want this to be happening. It couldn't be as bad as it seemed. Surely the church leadership would rise up and do what was right. Surely my friends, the people in the congregation, would stand against what was going on. I was disappointed time and time again. Instead of support, more unbelievable things happened. Was the saga ever going to end?

Even now, I get weary sometimes. The battle seems so monstrous. How can I make any change happen in this area? People don't seem to want to face the epidemic of childhood sexual abuse. I can't figure out why. It is their children I am talking about. It is for their children that I want awareness on this issue. It is for the protection of their children I am ringing the alarm.

This is some of what is going on inside of me.

A Part Of Me

I will be always dealing with this in one way or another. This has been a part of me from the time my baby sitter's husband started to groom me. Only now it is no longer a secret part of me. I am older and wiser and stronger now and can speak out on behalf of other survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I can be a voice. 

My greatest hope is that by speaking out, I can help prevent some innocent children from being sexually violated and forever changed. My hope is that I can shine light on such a dirty, dark issue--one that so many people are unable to look at and admit is an enormous problem in our society today. I hope to make this real in people's lives so they evaluate their choices and protect their children.

I hope to eventually push for some real changes in the laws regarding how a child victim is handled and the way a sexual predator is dealt with. I also hope to one day be more involved with the darkness to light organization.

I do believe this will always be a part of my life. I also believe for two of my children in particular this has changed who they once were and will always be a part of their lives. I hope they are able to take the negativity and bring positive change and help people with their story, rather than this eating at them and robbing from them anymore than it already has.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

We All Lose

People who lose: You lose every time a sexual crime is minimized.
I lose ever time a sexual crime is covered up.
Our children lose every time a sexual predator is allowed back on the streets with little-to-no monitoring.

Yes, the predator is labeled, but you are only personally notified if the person is considered a level-three sex offender. A predator can live almost anywhere they want. You have no recourse if a sexual predator is going to be moving in next to you and your family. Your only choice is to move or stay and have your children be prisoners in your own home. Depending on the sentencing conditions and the particular therapist (if they actually go to one), a sexual predator really is free to roam our streets. There is no fast or easy way for the average person to identify a convicted sexual predator. That is a huge problem as I see it.

Take an example from our case, within months of pleading guilty in court, Patrick was allowed to go virtually anywhere as long as he had a chaperon. Guess what? Patrick was seen at the local library in Gig Harbor without a chaperon. This was reported, but Patrick's therapist had given him permission to go to the library to check his e-mail accounts, so the prosecutors hands were tied. Any number of inappropriate connections could have been made at the library--a place where many children are dropped off. At this particular library, the bathrooms are completely off in a corner down a hallway, very much out anyone's eye shot.

Who makes these rules?
Who is really being protected?

There is so much concern about the rights of the abuser. The abuser should forfeit some basic rights once they have been convicted of a sexual crime against a child. They shouldn't be able to go places where children are likely to be. That would be a natural consequence, as I view it. If the predator was really earnest about not re-offending, their willingness to avoid children would be proof. But it seems most abusers try as hard as they can to slide right back into society, in order to re-establish themselves as normal people. They are not normal. They are dangerous and should be treated as such.