If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Handle It Within The Family

In particular it seems people want to excuse away deviant sexual behavior if it's committed by a teenager. Reflecting on my personal story because it's what I lived, Patrick, disclosed that he started his sexual deviant behavior at age 15. Six children are known to have suffered sexual abuse at his hands.

A common thread I hear a lot that is alarming to me: "The offender was very repentant and is a really good person, they just made a mistake," "The parents of the offender were devastated and will appropriately handle the offense," "I don't want the offender to get in serious trouble."

The latter statement is what concerns me the most. The statement in and of itself belittles the deviant sexual act that the victim endured! This is a mindset that I am fighting against. If you get anything at all from my blog, please get that WE NEED SEXUAL PREDATORS ON OUR RADAR! It is in darkness (handling it privately) that these individuals thrive. A true sexual predator is good at what they do. They learn to manipulate people around them.

How many people will this person sexually offend before someone finally notifies the proper authorities? YOUR decision to handle these types of crimes "privately" puts others at risk! It puts MY children at risk! Are you sure you heard God tell you NOT to report the crime? And I will go as far to say that the parents of sed offender should not be considered a proper person in authority. A teacher, maybe. What about the police department?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The God Card

It's tricky when someone pulls the God card. Meaning, they feel that their decision not to report deviant sexual behavior was cleared or even directed by God. Not quite sure how to respond to that one. How do you question someones ability to hear God correctly?

But really...do you hear yourself, is what I want to say.

It's very hard for me to stay composed while hearing something like that being said. I want to immediately say...but, but, BUT!

In my story...

The "good christian parents" of Patrick, prayerfully dealt with him. Patrick, by all accounts showed the appropriate physical emotions of regret. I am told Patrick even cried and appeared extremely remorseful in a church meeting. Kathy apologized to me personally with such sadness for the fact that "it was her son" that abused my child. All the while keeping secret about other victims and details of criminal behavior.

Our system is flawed, for sure. But at least if you report "inappropriate" sexual behavior, it can be evaluated by an unbiased professional and the person can properly be charged if necessary. In order to stop the cycle of abuse we need these individuals on societies radar!

The main reason it took Eric and I about 24 hours to report the crimes committed in our case was our personal relationship with the offender. It was so confusing to reconcile the severity of the crimes committed with the person we thought Patrick to be. Once I involved someone on the outside and they heard the facts, as we knew them to be at the time, we were immediately, without hesitation encouraged to report the information to the sheriff department.

When face to face with sexual deviant behavior instead of deciding yourself, through prayer alone, if the behavior is report worthy, why not pick up the phone and call your local sexual assault center anonymously and explain the circumstances and heed their advice to report the crime or not.