If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Handle It Within The Family

In particular it seems people want to excuse away deviant sexual behavior if it's committed by a teenager. Reflecting on my personal story because it's what I lived, Patrick, disclosed that he started his sexual deviant behavior at age 15. Six children are known to have suffered sexual abuse at his hands.

A common thread I hear a lot that is alarming to me: "The offender was very repentant and is a really good person, they just made a mistake," "The parents of the offender were devastated and will appropriately handle the offense," "I don't want the offender to get in serious trouble."

The latter statement is what concerns me the most. The statement in and of itself belittles the deviant sexual act that the victim endured! This is a mindset that I am fighting against. If you get anything at all from my blog, please get that WE NEED SEXUAL PREDATORS ON OUR RADAR! It is in darkness (handling it privately) that these individuals thrive. A true sexual predator is good at what they do. They learn to manipulate people around them.

How many people will this person sexually offend before someone finally notifies the proper authorities? YOUR decision to handle these types of crimes "privately" puts others at risk! It puts MY children at risk! Are you sure you heard God tell you NOT to report the crime? And I will go as far to say that the parents of sed offender should not be considered a proper person in authority. A teacher, maybe. What about the police department?


Anonymous said...

Give it a rest. What about your failures as a parent? You failed to protect your kid.

Anonymous said...

Handling it covertly, while not socially acceptable, is extremely effective. Just ask any Intelligence Case Officer/Operations Officer.

Anonymous said...

you are so right about that. When I was a child, I was attacked and sexually assaulted by a mentally retarded kid at my church. As it turns out, the mom knew this was a possibilty, and still, in my Catholic parish, one of the "community service" projects was to have teenagers over (one on one) to "help" him with schoolwork or read to him, etc. When it happened to me, I was told not to say anything...first by the mom then by MY PARENTS (who still wonder why they don't see much of me....DUH), the priests, the nun, all the deacons, etc. It wasn't until 10 years later or so that I managed to realize that God Himself was not part of this conspiracy.

Personally i think that all sex offenders should be executed for the safety of other kids, and if their parents make an excuse, shoot them too (how can you excrete something that vile out of your body and live with yourself??!??!?). Doubly so for mentally retarded offenders.

Keep up the fight.

Anonymous said...

You continue in my prayers. God bless you and your family.

Kelley said...

You are absolutely correct. Keep up the excellent work. I know it is difficult in the face of both the crime, the expense, and some people's attitudes, but spreading the word is our -and our children's- ONLY defense.

In 2008 I brought to the police, the FBI, the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the local schools, and many others, hard evidence of my husband's pedophilia. 8,000 sexual pictures and videos of his underage students and child pornography. Many of the pictures and videos were taken at the local schools where he taught, inside our house, and inside the children's homes.

Not one of those agencies did a single, solitary, thing to either stop him or punish him. They didn't even contact him. He continued right on teaching.

In May of 2010, after finally getting the divorce I fought years for, I went to the media.

I went for two reasons.

First, in Georgia it doesn't matter if you broke both your child's arms and admitted it - children are property, and as such, they have absolutely no choice but to endure unsupervised visitation with the offending parent. One of my children is unable to fly because of medical conditions. That meant every summer I was to put my daughter on a plane and send her ALONE to a documented pedophile in a city and state where she knew no one but the pedophile. The court assigned child advocate's advice to me was 'If he molests her, she's old enough to tell you.' As far as kidnapping, the court's child advocate said if he kidnapped them again, it wouldn't be a big problem because he couldn't get too far with them as the children didn't have passports. Realizing the court wouldn't give my children protection, I went to the media hoping the public would.

Second, the pedophile was still teaching children all over the country and no one was doing anything about it, not even those people and agencies who job it is to protect. If any school did a background check... NOTHING would come up indicating this man shouldn't be around children. NO ONE COULD STOP HIM BECAUSE NO ONE KNEW. (Sound familiar? Seems like you've been saying that as loud as you can. I hope you keep saying it!)

So I went to the media. In the reporter's interviews, the police said they couldn't do anything because the pictures were taken in public places - which was untrue. The schools said they didn't know anything about it - which was untrue. My ex-husbands lawyer said the pictures weren't sexual - which was untrue.

And after the report aired more students came forward.

But still nothing was done.

However, for one year, when you Googled my ex's name the news story came up. So for one year, it was possible for schools and youth organizations to see this man would be a poor choice to employ to be in charge of children.

Now... the news story is gone to archives, it doesn't pop up in Google any longer. The dozen or so victims will never see justice. Who knows how many more victims there will be - but we know there will be more because pedophiles can't stop and have no urge or incentive to stop. In fact pedophiles are aided by the very system whose job it is to protect us, using the system as a tool with which to bludgeon their victims into submission.

You already know this, obviously. Most people do not. Thank you, from the bottom of my soul for being brave enough to withstand the trauma, the financial burden, and the ridicule in your effort to stop a monster that no one else would step up to stop - even if it was their job to do so.

Dr. Carla Van Dam says the only way to stop molestation is to publicly identify those who molest.

Which is kinda what this blog is about... stopping a child molester by publicly identifying him and those who aid him. No wonder the child molester doesn't like that. How will he be able to molest children with all this ruckus?

Ms Sparky said...

You 100% correct. It is the secrecy pedophiles thrive in. "not wanting to get them in trouble" only compounds the issue and keeps them on the streets with access to more victims. Keep up the good fight. You are fighting for all our kids.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Kelly. Thanks for speaking up. Thanks for supporting and encouraging Danielle!