Protecting Who (part 1 of 3)

The problem is that many of these criminals are able to plea bargain down their charges. Even more are able to keep their true actions under wraps until it's too late to hold them accountable (like in our case.) Massive sex predators are grossly mismanaged in the legal system. One example from our case: Patrick's one-year jail sentence was reduced to 10 days in jail and two years of probation. We were told that if Patrick violated his probation conditions, then his plea agreement would be void and he would have to serve the full jail sentence. In actuality, if someone violates their parole conditions, the judge has many lenient options.

Patrick did violate his parole conditions, he went before the judge. We were not notified. Patrick spent only five additional days in jail. I still have not been able to confirm exactly what his violation was, but I was able to confirm with his probation officer that he did indeed violate parole and spent a few extra days in jail. I do know his sentencing conditions are very loose.
* He can have no contact with anyone in our family.
* He has to meet with his probation officer.
* He has to abide by conditions set by his therapist (such as no contact with children, no Internet, taking a lie detector test).

We are not privy to all his conditions, which I think is wrong. To think that Patrick can't manage to go just two years without violating his parole, knowing he is being monitored, makes me extremely nervous for the day he is no longer on probation. He will be off probation in mid-August 2009. To date, Patrick hasn't shown any real signs of a transformation or of a person who is actively working to change his behaviour.

Unbelievable

This week I was contacted and warned that a long-time friend (whom I have not recently been in contact with since I learned her son was a convicted level 1 sex offender) has been regularly having e-mail exchanges with Kathy Rojas. I know in my head people actually support what Eddie and Kathy Rojas are doing, but in no way can I justify their reasoning for the support. To see that someone who has known my family for years and knows our child very well is actively supporting these criminals (remember, there is a felony warrant out on Eddie Rojas) is another blow to my heart.

I could not just let this one go. I made contact with this person. I sent her the post "What Eddie Knew" along with a somewhat short inbox message on facebook that did have a snotty comment in it.

Here is her response: ( I am leaving in her son's name because he is a registered level 1 sex offender)

No, I had no idea. Just sent her my love. Jesus loves her, and so do I. I also love you. Jesus wants healing for all of us. Not hatred, but forgiveness. The comment about the support group was uncalled for. No, we are not. Remember, Zeke confessed all, he and we hid nothing. His offense was minimal and it is over now. We only shared it with close people who could support and pray for us, not those who would gossip. I pray Jesus puts your life back together and makes it better than before. In Joel, He promises to give us back 7 fold of what Satan has stolen!! I believe that for you, because he is doing that for me. God's blessings to you and your family.


I wanted to reply with, " you drank the kool-aid!" Instead, I really thought about a response. I want to share this on my blog because I want the people reading this that may not grasp the mindset of the people supporting the Rojas family to have a glimpse inside. This was my response:

Wow, what Bible are you reading? God is not only a God of love. He is also a God that seeks righteousness, justice, a God of wrath. This same God of love has special scriptures in the Bible set aside for those who hurt his children.

You have never contacted our family to check on our child. Yet you want the Rojas's to know you love them.

When I told you what happened in our family, your very first response was, "They better get a good lawyer. The state will be out to get Patrick." Did it ever occur to you that maybe Patrick committed a crime and deserved a consequence?

Do you not get what taking the Rojas girls in hiding is teaching them? It teaches them it is more important to protect your pedophile brother who molested you over and over-over many, many years. But because he cried and said he was repentant (yet again), Patrick shouldn't face the authorities (the same authorities in the Bible we are told to obey) and accept the consequences for his previous crimes.

This would have also hopefully lead to the girls getting the help and support they need to properly start their healing process. Instead of having a warped twisted view of who God is. Have you considered maybe, just maybe, Eddie and Kathy are in sin/breaking the law. What else are they hiding? It is not gossip to ask questions and use your brain. Yet, you defer to them and want to let them know you love them. Confusing.

I also know that in spite of what happened in our family, God will bring good in our lives. BUT not because of it! There is a huge difference.

You're right. I do not know the details about Zeke. I guess I was someone you felt would gossip and not support you. Whatever!

What I do know is that whatever he did do warranted criminal charges, that Zeke is a registered sex offender, that he had to attend court-ordered therapy and was on probation, that he was not allowed to be alone with his younger siblings. I know that the state has too much to do and doesn't have the time to trump up charges.

Now I hope for the sake of innocent children that Zeke is no longer a danger, but I would not boast that Zeke is not a possible danger to children in the future. There is no cure for a sex offender. Any level of sexual deviant behavior is life-altering. I am offended that you would minimize sexual abuse. Zeke's success in life will require that he never assumes a life of normalcy. He will need accountability and need to be vigilant. Maybe because he is your son, it is easier to walk that line of denial.

Maybe you do live in the light. Does everyone you interact with that have children know that Zeke is a register sex offender?

You admitted yourself that you only told "people that would support you." How is that not hiding? You never told our family. I will say at least you obeyed the probation rules and did not interact with my family. You always had a convenient excuse why we couldn't get together, but not the truth.

I have minor children and one that was victimized by someone that started out just like Zeke and has parents that sound just like you. He confessed, repented, and now lives life as if it never happened. This is selfish thinking that lead to a victim number six (my child).

I just wanted you to know who and what you support, because now you are fully accountable before the Lord.

Danielle

Epidemic

I am not being melodramatic when I say childhood sexual abuse is an epidemic.

I want you to consider this, the fact that there are many sex offenders out in our society that have not been reported. Some even were reported but for one reason or another charges were not filed or dropped.

Therefore it is fair to say the statistics do not really show the full picture.

Washington State - Number Of Registered Sex Offenders: 19,700*as of 7/10/07 -from Klasskids webpage

Total population in Washington State 6,287,759.

Do some math and let's say the average offender on this list abuses 5 people, then you are talking about 98,500 victims in our state alone. Now consider this, these are only the ones we know about.

Epidemic might be an understatement!

Register for e-mail alerts if a sex offender moves into your neighborhood in Washington State

Registered Sex offenders on facebook

Sentinel’s technology is the foundation for Sentinel SAFE, the software MySpace uses to identify sex offenders on its site. Sentinel SAFE is a database of more than 700,000 registered sex offenders in the U.S., complete with names, photos, dates of birth, email and IM addresses (when available), and more than a hundred other data points. Cardillo took the 90,000 sex offenders who were removed from MySpace and started looking for them on Facebook. He says:

We found over 8,000 offenders on their site without much effort. My professional opinion is that the real number is 15 to 20 times that.

The actual number of matches he found was 8,487. (excerpt from the above link)

* I realize not all sex offenders are pedophiles but sexual abuse is sexual abuse.

My Opinion (part 4 of 4)

#1-Is a sexual predator an evil person? Yes! (post 1 of 4)
#2-Can they be cured? No! (post 2 of 4)
#3-How can a pedophile be a safe part of our community?
(post 3 of 4)
#4- Should sexual predators be able to hide their identities?

Should a sexual predator be able to hide their identity?

Simple answer: no.

Our system has made progress in identifying predators, but the system is greatly flawed. In our case, Patrick was only charged with a gross-misdemeanor when in fact his actions should have earned him felony charges. Fortunately, we have an officially recorded psycho-sexual evaluation, which resulted in Patrick being labeled a level-two sex offender. Otherwise, he would have only been labeled a level one and not even his picture or information would have been on the sex offender registry.

All the authorities in the legal system that were familiar with our case considered Patrick a level three (the worst-of-the-worst) offender, but because of the guidelines and restrictions, Patrick could only be labeled as a level two. If I had my way, there would be a system in place that literally marked sexual predators with a visible sign. I do not have real hope that something like this will ever happen, but it should. The system has so many loop holes and clauses to protect the abuser, that it is disheartening.

My Opinion (part 3 of 4)

#1-Is a sexual predator an evil person? Yes! (part 1 of 4)
#2-Can they be cured? No! (part 2 of 4)
#3-How can a pedophile be a safe part of our community?
#4- Should sexual predators be able to hide their identities?

There is therapy available.

I believe that if a pedophile actively works his therapy program and avoids contact with children at all costs (meaning they might have to not do some things they normally would have), there is a chance they would not victimize another child. But cured? No. In the same way an alcoholic must completely abstain from alcohol, a pedophile must completely abstain from contact with children.

If a pedophile has contact with individuals that do have children, they need to be up front about that. Let's say the pedophile attends a church. That individual needs to reveal that they are a danger to children and should be forbidden any contact. An attempt to live a life of normalcy will eventually lead to re-victimization, which may or may not be reported.

Do I believe in miracles or redemption? Yes, but I do not believe anyone should risk the well-being and safety of their children to find out if there has really been a transformation in the predator. Only God knows the heart. These individuals are born cons and can fool anyone. Everyone around the pedophile, including the pedophile himself, needs to understand that there are lifelong consequences. THEY SHOULD NEVER BE AROUND ANOTHER CHILD IF THEY ARE SINCERE IN THEIR RECOVERY. Any alteration from that plan will surely lead to another victim. Why take the gamble?

A pedophile can be a safe part of our community IF they are upfront about their deviant behavior with all their relationships, make every effort to avoid contact with children, and remain in therapy. I have yet to meet this individual.

My Opinion (part 2 of 4)

#1-Is a sexual predator an evil person? Answer: Yes! (part 1 of 4)
#2-Can they be cured?
#3-How can a pedophile be a safe part of our community?
#4- Should sexual predators be able to hide their identities?

Can a pedophile be cured?

I would argue, no, they are not curable.

There is no convincing evidence that a pedophile can be cured. Quite the opposite. It is possible for a pedophile to have gaps in their victimizing of others, but, when push comes to shove, they nearly always end up victimizing again, even after a gap of 10 years of no reported offenses.

I remember when we were in the throws of our legal case,there were two men in Seattle that were caught victimizing children after years of living "normal" lives. One man had remarried and had gone 10 years without an offense, according to the article, and then had some life stresses and returned to victimizing children.

I believe that most likely in that 10-year period, there were other victims, they just didn't report the crime. This man had served time for his previous crimes and went through therapy and tried to enter life as if he didn't have a problem. The biggest warning sign is when a known pedophile tries to live as if they were not a pedophile.

My Opinion (part 1 of 4)

#1-Is a sexual predator an evil person?
#2-Can they be cured?
#3-How can a pedophile be a safe part of our community?
#4- Should sexual predators be able to hide their identities?

I am not a doctor (although I play one on TV), so my answers to these questions are opinions only. My opinions may not be based out of years of study, but I do have real life experience and I have listened to the professionals and done some research. As with everything, you can always find someone with a differing opinion. If you don't like mine, you can feel free to click the exit button on your computer. I am not looking for a debate.

#1-Yes, I believe a sexual predator is an evil person. This is usually a person that is more concerned about fulfilling their twisted desires than the consequences of their desire. Their sickness (as some like to call it) or their sin (as other call it) alters the lives of their victims forever.

Most sexual predators are psychopaths, meaning they don't have consciences like the rest of the functioning world. They don't have a moral sense and they rarely learn from past mistakes. This lack of conscience is what normal people cannot relate to. We assume they have shame or guilt for their actions, but they do not. These people know how to fake the proper emotions, but when they are honest in therapy, they usually admit to lack of emotions for their victims. It is common for them to be sociopaths or have a narcissistic disorder in addition to their sexual deviant behavior.

I firmly believe that a sexual predator is unlike the rest of the population. I believe, with extremely rare exceptions, they are evil. Can they be cured? I'll answer that one tomorrow.