Right To Privacy

The moment Patrick started grooming our family, I believe he forfeited his right to privacy. The day he actually laid hands on my child, his story became intertwined in mine. I am being sued because Patrick has lost his good reputation. According to the lawsuit his loss of reputation and of employment is because of my blog. Way to shift blame.

If Patrick wouldn't have sexually violated my child along with five other minor children I wouldn't have a blog. If Patrick would have taken full responsible for his deviant crimes and accepted the legal consequences for his crimes, I would not have anything to write about. If Patrick stayed clear of children and families with children and was upfront about his predatory tendencies, I would have no need to warn the community that we live in about him specifically.

If Jairus would have warned us not to allow Patrick access to our children, I would not have this story to tell about his involvement. If Eddie and Kathy Rojas would have protected our church community and my family from their sexual deviant son, my story would be different. Because these individuals chose to stay silent, this is my story. Patrick, Jairus, Eddie and Kathy are simply reaping what they sowed. I guess they didn't consider the possibility that I wouldn't stay silent along with them.

Going Forward

They are going forward with the deposition. It looks like it will be in late November. Truth be told, I am not surprised.

At this point I have no choice but to roll with it. Don't get me wrong, this does cause me anxiety. The anticipation will be building from now until the deposition. Wondering about what questions will be asked, whether the offender and his brother will be present, not knowing whether I will feel angry or sad and cry.

It's a job for the attorneys and I believe a game for Patrick.

I just have to remind myself, for even one family to be spared the devastation that Patrick caused our child and family, it is all worth it.

Not Normal

One thing that keeps coming to mind lately is the fact that we are not dealing with someone like you or I. We are dealing with a sociopath that has narcissistic traits. He is not normal. Does not feel REAL remorse for his victims. Incapable of empathy. Although he can act and say the right words because he was taught well.

I believe that people that support a person like this view him as though he has actual remorse. So many of his actions have indicated a lack of humility on his part and a lack of empathy for his victim and their family. The one, that to me, is the mind blower even more so than the lawsuit was when he opposed the extension of the restraining order on behalf of the victim. Showing up to the court to ask for an extension because his lawyer wasn't able to make that particular date, not once but twice, by action alone indicates opposition to the no-contact order. Call me crazy.

Someone that is a serial pedophile is not normal! Does not think like you or I. Is incapable of certain emotions.

It is hard for us to comprehend because we have a conscious. We can't imagine because our brains are different. There really are monsters out there. They just don't always look scary.

Giving all my secrets away....

This has changed me. Confused me. Not sure I have really learned anything from all of this yet. I am somewhat jaded.

I still try to put myself out there but find myself retreating regularly.

I am scared sometimes and feel empowered at other times. Sure of what I am doing and why but not sure what I will have to endure because of what I have chosen to do. Feel supported by some and judged by many. I realize that unless you have walked in my shoes you rarely can really "get it" or speak to it.

I have noticed that so many people don't really want to know the truth, they just want to live an uncomplicated pleasant life. If they knew, they would be accountable for their inaction.

All the things I thought were so vitally important for a "good Christian" life...maybe aren't so much, in light of so many other issues.

I know that no one can walk out my life so I need to. I want to be able to say that I did everything I could think of (within reason) to try and protect anyone else from being victimized by Patrick Rojas.

I hope for real changes in the laws that pertain to sex offenders. I am intimidated by the process of being heard. Wonders if people will really rise up when I ask them to.

Yes, three and half years after becoming aware that one of my children was sexually abused by our family friend, our former pastors adult son, in my own home, and that others had the power to stop the victimization yet chose to stay silent, I am still emotionally and practically dealing with the repercussions of all of their choices. I have kept moving but I am not sure that I am ever suppose to put this behind me, on a shelf in my heart and close the door. That is exactly the opposite of what I believe is to be done.

Chelsea's Law

ESCONDIDO, Calif. | As the first case to be prosecuted under California's new "one-strike" sex offender law is processed, the parents of slain San Diego County teen Chelsea King are beginning to work toward passage of similar laws in Colorado, Florida, Ohio and Texas.

Chelsea's Law, named after their daughter, places greater restrictions on paroled offenders and keeps behind bars for life those who have committed violent crimes against children under age 14. It swept through the legislature in about three months during budget season this year in a rare display of fervent bipartisan support.

To read the entire article: Chelsea's Law parents spread idea for 'one-strike' sex law

Now this is a law to get behind!

Postponed

For those interested....the deposition has been temporarily postponed by Patrick and Jairus's attorney for personal reasons. Sometime between now and the end of October I should know if another deposition date is being scheduled or if they choose to forgo the deposition and head straight into mediation. Another time of waiting.

I am cautiously optimistic....I think. Maybe? Not sure! I was emotionally ready for but not looking forward to the deposition. I still believe the good out weighs the bad. I still believe awareness is the key to change. Change in the access an offender has, changing of laws, change in people's reaction to a victim of childhood sexual abuse, change in the church's response towards the offender and the victims.

Not sure what it all looks like lived out but I am compelled to shine a light on this darkness!

Lawsuit Update

Today I received notification that Eric and I will in fact be deposed (next week) by Patrick and Jairus's lawyer. Eric and I had agreed to go straight to mediation. We had even agreed to pay for half the legal cost of mediation (which our half will be in the ball park of $3,000.) After a lengthy silence, their lawyer replied with a deposition date. Indicating that they will be able to have a more meaningful mediation if some discovery is done in this matter.

My interpretation:

Michael Davis (their lawyer) wants to profit as much as possible from this situation. Why STRONGLY recommend mediation to just turn around and say a deposition is in order? Unless of course Patrick and Jairus just want to mess with us. Could their motives be malicious? Why wouldn't they want to go straight to mediation? Another example that you should watch what Patrick does not what he says.

The cost of the deposition is separate from the cost of mediation.I find it crazy, maddening, and somewhat depressing that Patrick, a convicted sex offender, is able to sue one of his victim's parents for telling their story. We will never recover the cost incurred to defend the blog's publication which, in essence, is our story.