A man,11 years older, than the child.
This man,literally,sneaks into the child's bedroom,at night,where the child is tucked away in bed asleep and he....
This is not the first child this same man has violated. In fact, it's his sixth child.
This man violated the majority of his victims numerous times each.
This man has been a confessed Christian during each violation.
This man was caught and finally reported to the police after his sixth victim.
This same man hid behind an expensive attorney to avoid the full consequences of his actions.
Now,this same man claims to be repentant and a new man.
This man has people supporting his claim to be a new man.
This man would like to resume life as normal and wonders why I am not okay with that. He wonders why I won't stop telling this true story.
Simplified version.
Our story is about what really happened...when told sounds unbelievable. The purpose of telling our story is to shine some light on a very dark subject, childhood sexual abuse and the people that facilitated the abuse that occurred in my family. This is an emotional subject that must be faced!
If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Something To Think About
Think about it....
mixing normal behavior vs pedophile behavior
mixing forgiveness with forgetting
forgiveness does not replace wisdom
age difference alone made everything fall into pedophilia behavior
more than a five year age difference
telling her to destroy evidence
sneaking into our house
leaving gifts
quoting scripture to one while sexually abusing another
talking to her privately
knowledge of computer pass word
not to mention the countless (literally) times he entered her room
leaving letters
reading her diary
Do you know an eleven year old girl, one that not only looks innocent and sweet but actually is...now,think of a 22yr old man that you know...would you still tell me to just forget all about it and allow the individual to move on to another unsuspecting family? REALLY? Now, try and tell me that is what God wants me to do. Think about it.
mixing normal behavior vs pedophile behavior
mixing forgiveness with forgetting
forgiveness does not replace wisdom
age difference alone made everything fall into pedophilia behavior
more than a five year age difference
telling her to destroy evidence
sneaking into our house
leaving gifts
quoting scripture to one while sexually abusing another
talking to her privately
knowledge of computer pass word
not to mention the countless (literally) times he entered her room
leaving letters
reading her diary
Do you know an eleven year old girl, one that not only looks innocent and sweet but actually is...now,think of a 22yr old man that you know...would you still tell me to just forget all about it and allow the individual to move on to another unsuspecting family? REALLY? Now, try and tell me that is what God wants me to do. Think about it.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Apathy of human beings....
Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.
Helen Keller
Helen Keller
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Twisted Theology
It seems to me that the different outrageous comments that I have recently received were made by two or three different individuals. It is this exact mindset that perpetuates childhood sexual abuse. Their mindset almost condones it. Their mindset lived out, causes much pain and destruction. I do not care how many scriptures they quote, I will never again be swayed by their twisted theology.(Although, for a time, I must admit I was.)
I don't drink Kool-Aid anymore.
We are to apply scripture with context and by the Holy Spirit. Not use it as an excuse to avoid the hard work of facing the reality of ones sins and their real life earthly consequences. What happens in the spirit realm is separate from what needs to happen in the physical. In the spiritual realm,I am redeemed. In the physical,I am a sinner that lives daily with the struggles of my sin nature.
It's frightening to know that there are segments of "the body of Christ" that would overlook childhood sexual abuse and perpetuate more abuse.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."~George Bernard Shaw
I don't drink Kool-Aid anymore.
We are to apply scripture with context and by the Holy Spirit. Not use it as an excuse to avoid the hard work of facing the reality of ones sins and their real life earthly consequences. What happens in the spirit realm is separate from what needs to happen in the physical. In the spiritual realm,I am redeemed. In the physical,I am a sinner that lives daily with the struggles of my sin nature.
It's frightening to know that there are segments of "the body of Christ" that would overlook childhood sexual abuse and perpetuate more abuse.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."~George Bernard Shaw
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Not My Responsibility
It's as if Patrick's supporters believe all of this is on me. Like I am responsible for something. Like if I would just be silent, Patrick would be "normal." That is dangerous, ignorant thinking. Patrick should never be considered "normal." Call him repentant if you must, call him miraculously healed if you dare, call him washed white as snow but do not, not for one moment believe he isn't a constant threat to children.
Given the right circumstances, the right opportunity, the temptation to re-offend will be so strong. Will he be able to control his desires? His sin nature? No one can say with certainty,that he will.
Why would anyone on Gods' green earth knowingly put their child within the grasp of a known pedophile? Why tempt "poor Patrick?" As one of my readers put it. Trusting God does not mean we don't use our brain!
We are suppose to learn from our past, right? Eddie "caught" Patrick, Patrick repented. Eddie "caught" Patrick again, again, Patrick repented. We caught Patrick,for the third time he repented. Meanwhile, six little girls were sexually violated. Their sexual purity robed. Patrick's specific past indicates that his repentance for his sexual crimes is clearly not enough to stop him from re-offending!!
That is why this is not about forgiveness. My forgiveness will do nothing for Patrick's future victims. My forgiveness will not ensure that Patrick will not strike again. My forgiveness is between me and God. I may get there, someday...
Given the right circumstances, the right opportunity, the temptation to re-offend will be so strong. Will he be able to control his desires? His sin nature? No one can say with certainty,that he will.
Why would anyone on Gods' green earth knowingly put their child within the grasp of a known pedophile? Why tempt "poor Patrick?" As one of my readers put it. Trusting God does not mean we don't use our brain!
We are suppose to learn from our past, right? Eddie "caught" Patrick, Patrick repented. Eddie "caught" Patrick again, again, Patrick repented. We caught Patrick,for the third time he repented. Meanwhile, six little girls were sexually violated. Their sexual purity robed. Patrick's specific past indicates that his repentance for his sexual crimes is clearly not enough to stop him from re-offending!!
That is why this is not about forgiveness. My forgiveness will do nothing for Patrick's future victims. My forgiveness will not ensure that Patrick will not strike again. My forgiveness is between me and God. I may get there, someday...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Experience......
I thought I was done highlighting anymore of the anonymous posts but I really wanted to address a portion of one more comment that was posted on my Toronto,Ontario post.
"You have already caused him the loss of his job and many of his friends. What more do you want to do to him? Are you not satisfied? Have you not destroyed him enough? When will you allow Gods healing power to come into your life? The government isn't going to satisfy you, the destruction of Patrick won't satisfy you, only God can."
I did not make, cause, or influence Patrick to sexually molest six little girls. It is because of Patrick's own actions that he lost his job(by the way,good to know.) It is solely because of Patrick and his own actions that he has lost many friends.
Quite the contrary to what you are saying happened. My family lost it's community because of what Patrick did. My family has been emotionally devastated because of what Patrick did. To this day our family is walking a healing path because of crimes that Patrick committed. As I have said before, a tsunami was unleashed in my home,when Patrick chose our family to victimize. All kinds of people were caught up and hurt in the ripples of Patrick's selfish sick acts.Patrick is a master at what he does. He had been honing his skills for 7 years prior to the crimes against our child.Patrick destroyed his self!
I am only guilty of living out the pain that was caused by no fault of my own. Living this out doesn't feel good, nor does it look pretty.Call me whatever you want. Quote whatever scripture you'd like but I can't quite reconcile that the God I serve would want me to be silent. No, the God I serve would want me to shout out from the mountain tops when I know someone is a clear and present danger. Especially when I know their mode of operation. When I know their target.
"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."
~ C.S.Lewis
The insanity of how our church leaders handled everything, my first hand experience with being groomed and having a child sexually abused, my painful awareness that "the church" along with society do not understand the long term effects of childhood sexual abuse, going through the disappointing legal process, living out the pain of being the mother of a victim would all be for not if I couldn't share our story for people to glean from.What would be even better is if someone that is in Patrick's circle is able to protect their children because I shared our story.Because I told the whole truth!
Forgive him, fine. BUT DO NOT FORGET WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF!!DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!!
"You have already caused him the loss of his job and many of his friends. What more do you want to do to him? Are you not satisfied? Have you not destroyed him enough? When will you allow Gods healing power to come into your life? The government isn't going to satisfy you, the destruction of Patrick won't satisfy you, only God can."
I did not make, cause, or influence Patrick to sexually molest six little girls. It is because of Patrick's own actions that he lost his job(by the way,good to know.) It is solely because of Patrick and his own actions that he has lost many friends.
Quite the contrary to what you are saying happened. My family lost it's community because of what Patrick did. My family has been emotionally devastated because of what Patrick did. To this day our family is walking a healing path because of crimes that Patrick committed. As I have said before, a tsunami was unleashed in my home,when Patrick chose our family to victimize. All kinds of people were caught up and hurt in the ripples of Patrick's selfish sick acts.Patrick is a master at what he does. He had been honing his skills for 7 years prior to the crimes against our child.Patrick destroyed his self!
I am only guilty of living out the pain that was caused by no fault of my own. Living this out doesn't feel good, nor does it look pretty.Call me whatever you want. Quote whatever scripture you'd like but I can't quite reconcile that the God I serve would want me to be silent. No, the God I serve would want me to shout out from the mountain tops when I know someone is a clear and present danger. Especially when I know their mode of operation. When I know their target.
"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."
~ C.S.Lewis
The insanity of how our church leaders handled everything, my first hand experience with being groomed and having a child sexually abused, my painful awareness that "the church" along with society do not understand the long term effects of childhood sexual abuse, going through the disappointing legal process, living out the pain of being the mother of a victim would all be for not if I couldn't share our story for people to glean from.What would be even better is if someone that is in Patrick's circle is able to protect their children because I shared our story.Because I told the whole truth!
Forgive him, fine. BUT DO NOT FORGET WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF!!DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Deformed View
I will use different examples from people in our own story. I know now that both elders, Jim Cameron and Dave Barrueto, have faced some form of childhood sexual abuse against their own children. "We dealt with something like this with one of our children and talked to the person and straightened it out."-Jim
I know that neither of them chose to report the crimes. They practiced what they preached. They forgave the individual and returned to fellowship with them(in one of the cases the elder's family eventually moved away from Chicago where the abuse took place.) This behavior and twisted mindset is selfish and destructive.
Since the abuse of their children, how many additional children have been sexually violated by the offender that was never reported,held accountable,or monitored? That's two sex offenders not on the legal radar. Two sex offenders in "the church" un-detected because Jim and Dave belittle childhood sexual abuse. They believe that "such matters" should only be handled in the church."The only biblical requirement is to confess their sin(crime)to the church elder." "The state has no business in a church matter." This was the rhetoric of Jim and Dave.
It makes sense that our former elders would respond the way they did in our situation. Otherwise they would need to face what they had done to their own children.They needed to down play the seriousness of childhood sexual abuse and it's far reaching effects on a child in order to justify their own choice to ignore it."It was just inappropriate affection." "He was just curious." "Not worth eight years in prison." "We needed to forgive Patrick and reconcile with him." More rhetoric by the elders. They have a deformed view of the Word of God. As you can see by some of the comments lately, they are not the only ones who have a deformed view!
"No wonder Christians are hated, laughed at and ridiculed by secular culture. For the most part,they are dumb!"~Sarah Musick.
I know that neither of them chose to report the crimes. They practiced what they preached. They forgave the individual and returned to fellowship with them(in one of the cases the elder's family eventually moved away from Chicago where the abuse took place.) This behavior and twisted mindset is selfish and destructive.
Since the abuse of their children, how many additional children have been sexually violated by the offender that was never reported,held accountable,or monitored? That's two sex offenders not on the legal radar. Two sex offenders in "the church" un-detected because Jim and Dave belittle childhood sexual abuse. They believe that "such matters" should only be handled in the church."The only biblical requirement is to confess their sin(crime)to the church elder." "The state has no business in a church matter." This was the rhetoric of Jim and Dave.
It makes sense that our former elders would respond the way they did in our situation. Otherwise they would need to face what they had done to their own children.They needed to down play the seriousness of childhood sexual abuse and it's far reaching effects on a child in order to justify their own choice to ignore it."It was just inappropriate affection." "He was just curious." "Not worth eight years in prison." "We needed to forgive Patrick and reconcile with him." More rhetoric by the elders. They have a deformed view of the Word of God. As you can see by some of the comments lately, they are not the only ones who have a deformed view!
"No wonder Christians are hated, laughed at and ridiculed by secular culture. For the most part,they are dumb!"~Sarah Musick.
Who you should care about...
"A man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument" - C. S. Lewis.
The most recent comments that I have highlighted in my posts were for the express purpose of letting my reader see first hand, with their own eyes the type of thinking our family had dealt with in our former church. The way some individuals belittle childhood sexual abuse.It's dangerous thinking to say the least! I will not argue about the doctrine, some of which is sound. But I believe most of my readers are smart enough to know other biblical principles that would support why I am compelled to bring awareness to this subject.
The obvious reason that I highlight Patrick and the other Rojas members, who aided Patrick in his grooming process and covered up his crimes,is because it's what I have to draw from. It's my story. It's how I know what I now know.
Because I know what I know about Patrick, I also know that he is still a clear and present danger to children. As satisfying as it would be to know that Patrick was behind bars somewhere, it's not worth the reality of what that would mean.It would mean that there was another little girl sexually violated by Patrick.I can't bear the thought of that, which is the reason I want everyone that is in Patrick's life and his community to be aware of what he is capable of doing.
It has been 3yrs this August since Patrick was sentenced in the plea agreement made with the state. Pedophiles are known for their patience. They are methodical. This would be about the time frame for someone like Patrick to gain the trust back within his circle of friends and family. People get busy, they forget, they let down their guard.That is when a pedophile strikes!I could careless about Patrick one way or the other. But what I do care about are the innocent children that are within his grasp. That is who you should care about!
The most recent comments that I have highlighted in my posts were for the express purpose of letting my reader see first hand, with their own eyes the type of thinking our family had dealt with in our former church. The way some individuals belittle childhood sexual abuse.It's dangerous thinking to say the least! I will not argue about the doctrine, some of which is sound. But I believe most of my readers are smart enough to know other biblical principles that would support why I am compelled to bring awareness to this subject.
The obvious reason that I highlight Patrick and the other Rojas members, who aided Patrick in his grooming process and covered up his crimes,is because it's what I have to draw from. It's my story. It's how I know what I now know.
Because I know what I know about Patrick, I also know that he is still a clear and present danger to children. As satisfying as it would be to know that Patrick was behind bars somewhere, it's not worth the reality of what that would mean.It would mean that there was another little girl sexually violated by Patrick.I can't bear the thought of that, which is the reason I want everyone that is in Patrick's life and his community to be aware of what he is capable of doing.
It has been 3yrs this August since Patrick was sentenced in the plea agreement made with the state. Pedophiles are known for their patience. They are methodical. This would be about the time frame for someone like Patrick to gain the trust back within his circle of friends and family. People get busy, they forget, they let down their guard.That is when a pedophile strikes!I could careless about Patrick one way or the other. But what I do care about are the innocent children that are within his grasp. That is who you should care about!
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