If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Experience......

I thought I was done highlighting anymore of the anonymous posts but I really wanted to address a portion of one more comment that was posted on my Toronto,Ontario post.

"You have already caused him the loss of his job and many of his friends. What more do you want to do to him? Are you not satisfied? Have you not destroyed him enough? When will you allow Gods healing power to come into your life? The government isn't going to satisfy you, the destruction of Patrick won't satisfy you, only God can."

I did not make, cause, or influence Patrick to sexually molest six little girls. It is because of Patrick's own actions that he lost his job(by the way,good to know.) It is solely because of Patrick and his own actions that he has lost many friends.

Quite the contrary to what you are saying happened. My family lost it's community because of what Patrick did. My family has been emotionally devastated because of what Patrick did. To this day our family is walking a healing path because of crimes that Patrick committed. As I have said before, a tsunami was unleashed in my home,when Patrick chose our family to victimize. All kinds of people were caught up and hurt in the ripples of Patrick's selfish sick acts.Patrick is a master at what he does. He had been honing his skills for 7 years prior to the crimes against our child.Patrick destroyed his self!

I am only guilty of living out the pain that was caused by no fault of my own. Living this out doesn't feel good, nor does it look pretty.Call me whatever you want. Quote whatever scripture you'd like but I can't quite reconcile that the God I serve would want me to be silent. No, the God I serve would want me to shout out from the mountain tops when I know someone is a clear and present danger. Especially when I know their mode of operation. When I know their target.

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."
~ C.S.Lewis

The insanity of how our church leaders handled everything, my first hand experience with being groomed and having a child sexually abused, my painful awareness that "the church" along with society do not understand the long term effects of childhood sexual abuse, going through the disappointing legal process, living out the pain of being the mother of a victim would all be for not if I couldn't share our story for people to glean from.What would be even better is if someone that is in Patrick's circle is able to protect their children because I shared our story.Because I told the whole truth!

Forgive him, fine. BUT DO NOT FORGET WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF!!DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!!

7 comments:

Claire said...

Danielle,
I have been out of touch for a while and got a chance to catch up on your blog tonight.
I wanted to remind you that if any type of abuse is even suspected that all church employees and volunteers are REQUIRED by law to report that suspected abuse. Just like teachers. Just like doctors. Just like police officers, fire fighters, etc. If there is knowledge of abuse and you don't report it there is also some part of that law that addresses that.

To my knowledge, no church is exempt from this.

Claire

Danielle said...

Claire~ Yes, the elders and pastor have a legal obligation to report abuse within (if I remember right) 48hours of knowledge. Because Eric and I reported within 24hours (technically)no one else needed to report the crimes against our child. Only one of the elders was interviewed in regards to our case and he withheld details about the crime that he knew. Eddie (the pastor) on the other hand never reported the crimes within his own family and knowingly encouraged a relationship between our family and Patrick...Eddie is legally culpable! He had for knowledge.

Leah K. said...

It is amazing to me that people make excusses for sex offenders and don't hold them accountable for thier actions. There is a law of sowing and reaping, and everyone will have to face the CONSEQUENCES of THEIR OWN ACTIONS. His OWN ACTIONS have placed him in the situation that he finds himself in, and no one is responsible for that but HIM. The safety and innocence of a child is too preacious to take the chance that a sex offender won't re-offend. It is utterly sickening to me that people knew that he was a predator and didn't take the right steps to make sure that children were kept safe from him. Their silence has contributed to his ability to continue to prey on children. Sickening, just sickening!!! Darkness hates the light...John 3:19-21. Keep up the good work on shinning light onto the darkness that is sexual abuse.

Danielle said...

Leah~ Thank you for the encouragement!

Leah K. said...

Danielle - Any time :-) I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and know too well the effects that it has on one's life. I truly hope that you and your family is able to find healing. I also know how hard it is to go through the court system. My abuser got 2 years jail time & 10 years probation. While I'm glad for the jail time & the probation time; it hardly seems as though it fits his crime. He put me through a lot. It wasn't just the sexual abuse, but he also played horrible mind games with my mind.

You and your family deserve to find healing in your life, and I hope that you guys find it someday.

-Leah

Danielle said...

Leah, I hate that you know our pain personally. Although I do not know your story,I totally get what you mean about the mental aspect that is attached when someone is groomed and sexually violated. I don't think many people "get" that aspect.

What has helped you on your path of healing?

Leah K. said...

What has helped me is first of all God; I have 2 friends who really understand me & are always there for me when I need them; GOOD Christian counceling, and I have been going to christian support groups. I love the support groups because it is one of the few places where I can be open and I feel like a "normal" person. I have recently started a blog about my healing journey (writing helps me get my feelings out); whenever you feel alone you can go there & see that you aren't. The blog is called "In Search of Healing" www.thehealingsearch.blogspot.com

I wish that I could just give your family a big hug. Know that you guys are not alone in your struggle.