If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Questions...I'm sure

I'm sure you have some questions. Like how could we not know our child was being groomed and had been sexually molested?

A pedophile grooms the entire family and gains trust and access. "People who are predators are really good at seducing children. This is their job. This is what they do. If they do it well, you are seduced before you know it. You don't know that it's seduction, that's the whole point..." ~from a TV special~

A church is ideal grounds to groom families. Our family was particularly vulnerable. Just in a years time prior to Patrick's crimes against our family we had cancer in our immediate family, had a new born, and had moved twice. The Rojas family was always there to help us. Patrick started tutoring one of our children and taking him on as a little brother in Christ type mentoring. This is every parents dream. A seemly Godly young man taking time out of his life to encourage another whom is younger. Our family welcomed the involvement. This is how Patrick gained access. Anything that might of normally been a red flag was easily explained away because of how "Godly, caring, and humble," the Rojas family was.

Our children were not able to go on sleep overs (with rare exceptions) for the simple fact we didn't want them vulnerable to sexual abuse. Our kids were almost always supervised around other children for the same reason. Because of my background I am always suspicious of others.

I would even say that before this I considered myself to have very good discernment in situations and about people. There were a few times we knew Patrick left our child a note that read "Smile Jesus loves you" (with a smiley face) and left a few pieces of candy....this is what I told myself, "How thoughtful, Patrick knew that this child would feel left out because they weren't going and doing x,y or z like their sibling was." Perfectly logical he's from a family with 13 siblings who are taught to think of others. He also didn't just single out the victim, he would mix it up and sometimes give treats to all the kids. Patrick was always the "thoughtful guy." Does too good to be true come to your mind? Well he was...he wasn't good at all Patrick is evil through and through! Master manipulator! We were conned!

And he had the help of his parents Eddie and Kathy Rojas and an older brother, all of whom had known of Patrick's pedophile behaviors long before we reported the crimes against our family. In my next post I will explain this in some detail. Eric and I feel strongly that because Eddie and Kathy and an older brother knew of Patrick's pedophile behavior and kept it a secret that they are just as culpable as Patrick in the crimes against our family and his other victims. Some which are still in Eddie Rojas's care. This blog will only be powerful if it reaches the masses....please forward the link to this site to your contacts.


Anonymous said...

"he wasn't good at all Patrick is evil through and through"

its the job of the chronicler to remain impartial and unbiased when stating an account. Osama Bin Laden wasn't a good guy fighting off communism and then suddenly he turns evil when attacking america. he is as he always was: a crazy soldier dedicated to some cause.

this is important as up to this point, i assumed your blog was a matter of fact treatise on the situation until you said that. he's hurt you. hurt all of you no doubt, but flinging insults doesn't press your argument across.

Rebecca said...

"its the job of the chronicler to remain impartial and unbiased when stating an account."

I have no idea who anonymous is, but I can fully understand not wanting to be identified with such cold, callous remarks.

We are not talking about a "chronicler". We are talking about the mother of a sexual abuse victim. It is her "job" to love her child, to weep with her when she weeps, to seek justice on her behalf, to support her healing...and never ever for a moment to be impartial and unbiased.

My parents are impartial and unbiased to this day when it comes to several instances of sexual abuse in our extended family. As Elie Wiesel wrote: "We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim."

Thank God for parents who are boldly and unashamedly on the side of their victimized children -- even in the face of people like you who choose to advocate for the oppressor.