If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Friday, August 21, 2009

Bitterness

expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret <bitter tears>

Am I bitter? I haven't forgiven Patrick or others. I still want to see justice. I am willing to be honest about my true feeling regardless of knowing I will be negatively judged by some. I do not have a defense. If you don't get it from our story on this blog then I don't know that you will ever get it.

I know all the Christianese about bitterness and forgiveness. I also know that living out grief isn't pretty. Really, I believe I am still grieving everything that was done to our family and everything that our family has lost. I really am not one for pity parties but I do think I am forever changed. What happened literally unleashed a personal tsunami in my life.

I see bitterness as being a sin if I was stuck in bitterness. I do not believe I am stuck. I see myself as struggling. Struggling not to be stuck, not to become hard, not to become bitter. I see myself on an honest to God path to healing.

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