If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Psychologically Trapped part 2

By her inaction, Kathy Rojas is allowing her daughters to remain in harm's way.

In no way am I excusing Kathy's actions. In no way do I want to make Kathy look sympathetic. I believe Kathy struggles, but truly believes she would be in sin to go against her husband's wishes. On the outside, Kathy seems strong and confident and as if she is the one in control. I believe just the opposite is true.

I had many intimate conversations with Kathy in the time we attended their church. She was a mentor to me. In hindsight, there are many things that should have raised red flags. For instance, on a seemingly unimportant issue, Kathy would often say that she would need to discuss the issue with Eddie. I'd follow up the next day. Kathy's typical response was that she hadn't yet been able to talk to Eddie. That the timing wasn't right. This would sometimes go on for a week or more. We're not talking about life decisions, but about women getting together for scrapbooking. That sort of thing. Kathy would occasionally miss something all together because "the timing wasn't right." She hadn't been able to quickly run the question by Eddie. She took it all in stride.

It was all part of her mindset that her first call of duty was her husband. I don't disagree with this view biblically, but I do think in this case it was twisted to an unbiblical level. Eddie was the head of the house, period. If Eddie was ever in sin, I think Kathy believed that God would use her obedience to correct him. It is so close to biblical truth, but misses the mark. I remember thinking how glad I was that I could daily talk to Eric about anything. Eddie was no busier than the next father. Yes, he was a pastor and had many children but Eddie literally was a hands-off dad as far as any practical care was considered. Eddie didn't have a job other than his role as pastor. My husband works 70-hour work weeks and was commuting two hours a day. We have 6 children and Eric is very hands-on. I can always run something by Eric or discuss anything with him.

Eddie has a tight control on his family. Pray for the release of the minds of the adults in the Rojas family!

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