Acknowledgment

Don't get me wrong...there was one family that regularly went to the mat for us from the church. It cost them a great deal. They were one of two families that started the church, yet they ended up leaving the church as well. They were constantly going to the elders and asking them to find out certain facts but the elders kept everyone at bay by stating they wouldn't do anything until the legal process was complete.

Another young couple with small children left the church because they didn't like how the church was responding to the crime. These two families were labeled "Schneider followers." Not Christ followers. Not moved by the Holy Spirit.

There were two families that specifically were "ministering" to our family, but with leadership approval. I suspect one of the men in the group was reporting back to the elders about our family and about our spiritual and emotional state. There was a limit to the value of their support because of that two-way street. The men in these families were fairly passive men who really did want to support us, but were also afraid of doing something non-scriptural in their support of our family. They really had faith that the elders would in the end do the right thing. I would say that these men, in all their good intentions, were following the party line.

There were also a couple other families that helped us practically and spiritually. I remember someone saying they were uncomfortable with what was going on, that they believed the elders probably should step down. That they knew things were wrong, but didn't have a scripture to put to it. So, the answer they came up with was to stay with the church. They felt bad for us and wanted to help us, but they were continuing on with the church. Yes, the elders were flawed, but that wasn't a reason to leave, they thought. They believed strongly in the biblical chain of command, so to speak. One of the men believed he could help in changing the church for the better.

All of these families eventually left.

I don't want these families to feel like we didn't appreciate or acknowledge what they DID DO for us. During this time the friendship, the insider information, the practical help was very meaningful. But in the end, like I have said in a previous post, when it really mattered, they continued on under the same leadership.

Once they did leave, we were contacted and it seemed as if they expected us to resume our friendships. I couldn't do it. I was no longer the same person. Everything was different now.

Some things do not heal with time. I have a feeling this is one of those things.

It's not even a matter of forgiveness. It's abstract. It's hard to put into words. Add to it that some of these people still interact with individuals from the main player category. That's the final deal breaker.