Wednesday, May 13, 2009
How Are We Doing? (part 2)
Another child of ours wasn't the direct victim of the molestation, but was used to get to the victim. This child has gone through many emotions at different times. This child has a greater understanding of what happened and what it means than the actual victim. This child has huge trust issues.
Patrick was someone that was mentoring this child. Patrick constantly was talking about God, integrity, respecting your parents, and doing what was right. He even talked to this child about purity and at the same time was literally victimizing our other child. This child fully understands all of that.
Patrick seemed like he was so committed to God and serving Christ. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing. During this time, this particular child became very jaded. As a mother, I'd worked hard to facilitate this child having an innocent childhood that would be free of issues like sexual abuse. It crushed me to see his broken spirit. That is the best way to describe what this betrayal did to this particular child: it broke his spirit.
Our fun-loving child that would interact with anyone, anytime, without hesitation was instantly changed. I would say that, like myself, being around friends is what use to give this child inspiration and would fill this child with joy. Almost all his friends fell away and the few that he still had lived 1/2 hour away and lead completely different lives, which made fellowship difficult at best. This child has battled with emotions and has settled on anger most of the time. This has been hard to live with and love through.
This child is coming out on the other side of anger now, but still has some huge trust issues and is very much against organized church. This child has stopped counseling and returned to counseling a couple of times. This child still believes in God and believes He is the way, the truth and the life, but has a very difficult time having a relationship with Him. My hope for this child is that he develop a couple of really close friends that love God and are as like-minded in their convictions to live out certain Godly principles as this particular child. My hope is that God will allow this child to trust a few individual friends even during a time when he doesn't really trust anyone.