My child was violated, under my own roof, while I was in the house. I am the father, my child’s protector…how could this have happened ?
This is one of those crimes that “happen to other families.” You see it on TV or hear about it from someone and you feel terrible for the family victimized. For most, that feeling leaves just as quickly as it came, because you are not the family. We are. I am. I am the father who all too often reminds himself that it did happen. I was unaware. The fact that I was unaware didn’t help then and it still doesn’t. In fact, for me, it makes it worse.
I was completely deceived by one of the most unexpected people…my pastor’s own son. I understand now that it was textbook grooming that was accomplished over a long period of time. My entire household was played and all it took was one instance of allowing my guard down due to (false) loyalty and trust to become a victim. It was shocking when I realized what had taken place and that this was now our reality. Life changed forever that day.
Just as shocking for me were the immediate reactions from the elders of my church leadership, who couldn’t understand why I was unwilling to fellowship with the Rojas family. I was insulted and completely disrespected by Jim and Dave on multiple occasions only to find that all their actions were based on one falsehood after another. And the most hypocritical irony of them all was that the entire time they held the truth in their hearts while they were attempting to manipulate mine with lies.
One of the most appalling aspects of this whole process has been the lies. The lying, right to my face, by fellow fathers! One being the man I answered to and served as my pastor and the two idolizing (him) elders, who in meeting after meeting withheld the whole truth. They were continuously deceiving us and the authorities every step along the way until their agenda was met: Keep and protect the pedophile from being held accountable.
I view all the lies and deceit as one drawn-out act. The pastor’s son committed a crime and they all joined hands only to fall together. They are all fallen in God’s eyes and answering to Him is the justice that I know will occur.
I just shake my head, knowing the end result of how our church “leadership” dealt with this. The elders who were involved from day one are carrying on. Even though they blatantly lied to protect a pedophile, they are in the same church building, with some of the original families who still attend for their own convoluted reasoning. Whatever.
I can vividly picture the moment that the CPS representative asked Eddie where his wife and daughters were. It was in the Kitsap courtroom where Kathy and the girls had attended previous court sessions, but not this last one. Eddie skirted the question and simply asked for a few days of time before anyone tried to contact them. Later we realized this was actually a request for a head start in order for Eddie to take his wife and girls into hiding.
A father protects. Are you supporting a father who is protecting his pedophile son NOT his innocent daughters?
I am left walking away with my head held high and my fist held even higher. My heart is hardened at any given moment when I focus on the injustice, but it holds onto the hope of seeing justice served.