The Dew family. This family probably came in at a close second for losing the most in this whole ordeal. This family was one of two families that originally started the church we attended. They were one of two families that selected Eddie Rojas to be the pastor of PHFCC. This is the same church where our family was devastated. It was because of our relationship with the Dewhirst family that we started to attend this church. They had so much time, energy, and spiritual warfare poured into this congregation.
When I called them and told them that we had to call the police because Patrick had sexually molested our child, they showed immediate concern for our child and family.
The Dew's attended meeting after meeting-both congregational ones and private ones-trying to appeal to the elders to seek the truth at all costs and to investigate the situation beyond the surface. There were many sleepless nights that they spent in prayer over the situation. They were given specific words to relay to the elders, only to be disregarded. They continued to advocate on behalf of the truth. They advocated for our family to have preference in situations over Patrick, only to be shot down.
As with our family, the Dew's were isolated in many ways. They were seen as divisive for pushing for truth and as gossipers because they called for full disclosure of Patrick's crimes.
Their entire family has lost many long-time, meaningful friendships because they would not stop asking for the truth to come to light. They called a spade a spade and were labeled as bitter, unforgiving and angry for doing so.
This is one family that outwardly fought for the truth to come to light even at the cost of friendships and even at the expense of what they had worked to put together. It was more important to them to get to the truth than to keep the church going. They were the second family to leave the church over the way our situation was being handled by the leadership.
I respect what this family did, but my heart hurts for what they lost. The ripple effect, once again.
When I called them and told them that we had to call the police because Patrick had sexually molested our child, they showed immediate concern for our child and family.
The Dew's attended meeting after meeting-both congregational ones and private ones-trying to appeal to the elders to seek the truth at all costs and to investigate the situation beyond the surface. There were many sleepless nights that they spent in prayer over the situation. They were given specific words to relay to the elders, only to be disregarded. They continued to advocate on behalf of the truth. They advocated for our family to have preference in situations over Patrick, only to be shot down.
As with our family, the Dew's were isolated in many ways. They were seen as divisive for pushing for truth and as gossipers because they called for full disclosure of Patrick's crimes.
Their entire family has lost many long-time, meaningful friendships because they would not stop asking for the truth to come to light. They called a spade a spade and were labeled as bitter, unforgiving and angry for doing so.
This is one family that outwardly fought for the truth to come to light even at the cost of friendships and even at the expense of what they had worked to put together. It was more important to them to get to the truth than to keep the church going. They were the second family to leave the church over the way our situation was being handled by the leadership.
I respect what this family did, but my heart hurts for what they lost. The ripple effect, once again.
1 comment:
We spoke with several "professionals" as our situation was being dealt with. A consistent theme we were told of and have now seen come to pass is that perpetrators create webs of relationships and if/when they are discovered or accused, they pull these webs apart for their own purposes. People and relationships are used to buy time, to create smokescreens to justify, defend or advocate for the perp. It consistently develops into tragic, long-term devastation.
At a certain point, the thing created (Institutional church) can become more important than the individuals that created it. I do not agree with this, and it sounds like the Dewhirsts were not deceived, but the people who "held the keys to the (small k) kingdom", were totally ruled by protecting the institution. Tremendously misguided and sad, and ultimately the opposite result will occur-either in this world or the next.
It's like the perp thinking they have everything to lose by confessing and getting help. The opposite is true, but so very rare is the person who can take the step to admit fault and get help.
Have you guys seen "Doubt". We saw it tonight and thought of you.
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