Inside Me

I get tired of this being a part of my life. Not this blog per se. Because of what happened, the blog is a necessity. I think, in a lot of ways, I have come to terms with the fact that what happened to our child and family did happen. Because of my acceptance it is easier to allow everything in my life to change. What I mean is inside of me there have been some paradigm shifts in my thinking. It is hard not to be certain of the things I once was. It is hard to re-evaluate everything in life. Which includes my relationship with Christ and the church.

I fought the reality of it for awhile. I didn't want this to be happening. It couldn't be as bad as it seemed. Surely the church leadership would rise up and do what was right. Surely my friends, the people in the congregation, would stand against what was going on. I was disappointed time and time again. Instead of support, more unbelievable things happened. Was the saga ever going to end?

Even now, I get weary sometimes. The battle seems so monstrous. How can I make any change happen in this area? People don't seem to want to face the epidemic of childhood sexual abuse. I can't figure out why. It is their children I am talking about. It is for their children that I want awareness on this issue. It is for the protection of their children I am ringing the alarm.

This is some of what is going on inside of me.