If someone asks him, ‘What are these wounds on your body?’ he will answer, ‘The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.’ Zech 13 v 6

Sunday, March 7, 2010

You can't just look at a child and know if they have been sexually abused!

The child still plays, laughs, gets into trouble just like any other child around them. Many children detach themselves from what is happening to them in secret. It might be many years down the road before the child victim starts to realize what has actually been done to them. Most children have no context to attach to the sexual abuse. In their heart it feels wrong. The child usually knows something isn't right about what is happening to them. But there is this person that they love and trust and usually has some form of control over them through their relationship.

Another rarely talked about aspect of childhood sexual abuse is the fact that many times the sexual stimulation feels good to the child. Very confusing to have the "feels bad in the heart" but "feels good physically" conflicting emotions. That is where shame often attacks the child victim. Those conflicting emotions often play a part in the child keeping the sexual abuse a secret. I hate that the completely innocent child victim silently suffers with guilt and shame all too often. The guilt and shame is completely misplaced. No guilt! No shame! should ever be placed upon a child victim.

Often it is not until the adult survivor gets married or has their first child that they may begin to have flashbacks of their abuse, physical problems, sexual issues, or any of the other common consequences associated with childhood sexual abuse when it isn't properly faced and recovered from.

You can't just look at a child and know if they have been sexually abused. You can't just look at a child and know if they have healed fully from the trauma of childhood sexual abuse. The wounds are usually deep within their soul.

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